


Surviving the Witchers' World

by WinterSoldierofRivia



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Badass!Reader, But this is a reader insert, Daddy Kink, Fluff, Geralt takes a while to open up, He will have time with the reader too!, If you want it, Maybe Geralt/Eskel, Multi, Not race specific, Only like 1 section of smut for now, Reader transported to Witcher universe, Reader's besties with Lambert, Sharing, Sir Kink, Witchers have feelings too, but that's ok, i do not use y/n, master kink, not age specific, not sure yet - Freeform, smut?, transported reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:14:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 24,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27096367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinterSoldierofRivia/pseuds/WinterSoldierofRivia
Summary: You, the reader, find yourself transported in front of Kaer Morhen the day before the three famed witchers arrive for the winter. You do not know how you got there or how to leave. You set off to figure out how to navigate this world, but will you find a way to get back home? If you do, will you even want to go? Love blossoms between you and two witchers at Kaer Morhen, posing a problem for finding your way back to your world.Will you find out how you got to Kaer Morhen?
Relationships: Eskel (The Witcher)/Reader, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Reader, Platonic!Lambert/Reader
Comments: 36
Kudos: 128





	1. Chapter 1: Kaer Morhen?

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there! The beginning may be a little rough (Like the first paragraph or two), but after that I really tried to do my babies justice in this fic! I did not specify age or race for the reader, and I DO NOT USE Y/N! For some, it breaks the immersion, so I just say phrases like, "Vesemir says your name," Which can be easier to imagine. Put yourself in this story, and I hope you enjoy it! I imagine all characters as the ones from the video game Witcher 3, except Geralt, who I imagine as Henry Cavill's Geralt portrayal (But he talks more. You're welcome). However, you are free to imagine them however you want.
> 
> I am also unsure as to whether I want Geralt and Eskel to be romantically involved, or just the reader and Eskel and the reader and Geralt as two separate pairings with no crossover between the witchers at all (except maybe the occasional steamy threesome scene). Tell me what you prefer! 
> 
> Note: The reader doesn't start out as a huge fan of Yennefer, as I am not a huge fan of her in the Witcher 3, which was my first exposure to her. However, the reader and her do become friends! I don't hate Yennefer, and for all you Yennefer lovers out there, I didn't want a rivalry to ruin the story. So, the reader is friends with both her and Triss. If you do not like that, sorry! Focus on the steamy love scenes with Eskel and Geralt that are inbound instead.
> 
> Hope you enjoy reading this!

I stare at the screen in awe as I watch Henry Cavill as Geralt of Rivia dance with his blade. Watching him fight always makes me have the same reverence every time- a true feeling of deep appreciation. Sometimes, I look at him and feel more for him than I do for others in my life.  
“Why must you be so tempting, Geralt of Rivia?” I joke, getting off of my couch as I go to pop more popcorn.  
I think of playing the Witcher 3 for a little now, but I know I can’t stand to miss the next part of the show where Yennefer and him fight for the dragon. My favorite episode, by far, though I’m not sure why. It just seems to call to me. I feel for Geralt so much in the show and in the games, but that episode makes me talk to my TV screen with how much I wish to hug him and support him.  
Right when I settle down with my perfectly salted batch of popcorn, I hear a knock at the door. At first, I ignore it, perfectly intending to keep being enraptured by the wonderful TV, but as the knock grows more insistent and harder, I grumble, shouting out that I’m coming.  
Eventually, the knocking gets so loud and insistent I feel scared to answer it. So, I watch from the hallway as my door shakes. The table right by the door seems to be shaking too, and I find myself reaching for the phone to call the police. My heart pounding, I watch as the door shakes so hard the hinges come off the wall. I let out a scream as the door falls down, but when I look at the doorway… there’s no one. Not a soul is there.  
But then I feel a presence from behind me. I don’t have time to turn around as I feel a prick in my neck.  
“You will be perfect for them…” A voice murmurs. My vision starts to distort, and I feel myself being picked up. My thoughts turn to fighting, but all I can manage is to flail my arms a little as my eyes close. 

I never even see the face of who took me.

All I know is, I awake in a place that is not where I expect. 

My eyes are aware of the blinding light all at once. A groan leaves my lips as I bring my hand up to cover my eyes. I find I am too weak to open them yet, but my hand is on firm ground. It feels like a dirt path, so I settle for a little bit. I wait for my eyes to open, and as I do, the noises of nature reach my ears. I hear leaves rustle and birds chirp, and even the occasional growl from a wild animal. A wolf, maybe a bear? But then… a sound almost like a… cockatrice or a forktail. My eyes fly open. I scramble up, only to look around and see… nothing. A path leading down into the rest of the world, a signpost to my left, but as I turn around…  
“No way,” I let out. My eyes trace the building in front of me up and up as I take in the stone that is all too familiar to me.  
“Kaer Morhen,” I breathe. A shock settles in my bones. The same gate, the same wooden bridge leading to it… there’s no denying it- this is the witcher school.  
I would have more time to debate this, but another screech from behind me makes me turn. A creature I know staggers out from the treeline.  
“And a forktail?” I stare at it wide eyed as my brain struggles to process it being here. It flops down on the path, another screech coming from its lips. I’m frozen in a state of shock as it opens its eyes to look at me. It’s blinking is lazy, but it still lets out a sort of snarl at my being there.  
“What the hell?” I whisper. I rub my eyes to see if it’ll disappear, but it doesn’t. When I open my eyes, it is very much so still there.  
But, when my eyes open after rubbing them for a second time, I catch the gleaming of something in front of my feet. A sword. I pick it up, noticing how it is lighter than I thought. The handle is carved with plenty of symbols, some of which I recognize as Aard and Quen.  
I look from the sword to the forktail, wondering if I should kill it. Forktails are by all accounts dangerous from what I remember, and even though it is limited knowledge I am operating off of, I know a witcher would not hesitate to kill it.  
“I’m not a witcher,” I grumble, letting the sword drop to the ground. I approach the forktail slowly. It doesn’t open its eyes again, but sometimes it lets out little screeches and flaps its wings a little.  
Once it opens its eyes and sees me but doesn’t snap its jaws at me, I sit by its belly. A patch of blood is gathering under it, and I look at it critically. It seems like there is a small slash across its belly, but it already seems to be clotting. The blood pool is no longer growing, and so I keep sitting there. The forktail doesn’t seem to mind me being there- it doesn’t try to swipe at me or keep me away. Right now, it just seems like it's resigned itself to whatever it finds here. I shiver as I imagine if I was Vesemir or Geralt what would happen to the forktail in front of me. For some reason, I already feel a pull towards this forktail- a certain draw that makes me want to stay with it. I’m not afraid in the slightest- cautious, maybe, but I find that I am comfortable in this forktail’s presence.  
“What am I supposed to do with you, huh?” I wonder out loud, wanting to stick a hand out and pet the forktail. It lets out a little caw that sounds like it's offended, making me laugh.  
“What’s your name, boy?” I say carefully.  
It lets out a screech of indignation, so I amend my words, “So you’re a girl, huh?”  
It flaps its wings once, then its head nods. I laugh in disbelief.  
“You can understand me, girl?”  
It nods again.  
“Oh my God. This can’t be real,” I get up and start pacing, my mind stuck on the fact that a forktail seems to be my friend now. Suddenly, I get the urge to call out for someone I know lives inside Kaer Morhen.  
“Vesemir,” I whisper, then shake my head, “No, he’ll kill the forktail.”  
Speaking of the draconid, it lets out another squawk as I turn to it again.  
“I don’t know how to help you, girl,” I say softly, finally reaching out a hand and petting it on its nose. It huffs a little, but grinds into my hand lightly the same way a cat or dog would.  
“Should I keep you? Call you Callie?” I say, considering the outlandish idea. The draconid lets out a squawk that sounds considerably more happy than before and I giggle, “Callie it is then.”  
Then, from behind me, I pick up on some movement. Before I can really think about it, I pick up the sword, brandishing it as I turn around. A wolf stands on the wooden bridge, but it seems to be alone. Off in the distance, I hear more noises coming from inside Kaer Morhen, but they slip to the back of my mind as the wolf growls at me. It looks past me to Callie, then starts stalking forward.  
“Hell no,” I say, somehow liking the idea of protecting my new friend Callie the forktail from a wolf.  
“Callie, back up!” I call at her. It lets out a screech of indignation, but I cut it off, “Callie, back up. Please?”  
The wolf keeps coming closer, making me narrow my eyes at it. I actually look at its eyes as it lunges at me, and it stares at my left side. So, I move to my right, using the sword to slash at its belly. I only catch it with the tip of the blade, but its enough for the wolf to let out a small whimper. It eyes me again as it tries to circle me, but I stay on the other side of it, causing both of us to move in a stalking manner. I wait for it to lunge, and like I expect, it does, this time going for my right. It’s snarl is cut off as I slash at its head, and it falls silent as it lands to the ground. At first, I don’t know why, but then I realize I cut its head clean off. I stare at my sword, then to the wolf.  
“Holy shit,” I whisper. Callie has moved back a few feet, but now it stalks forward. I put the sword down, but Callie screeches when I do, jerking it’s head at the wolf’s body.  
“You hungry, girl?” I ask. It nods.  
I shake my head in disbelief, but I find I still want to help this forktail. So, I pick up the sword, cutting open the belly of the wolf from the neck to between its legs. Callie practically lunges for it, making me stagger back in surprise.  
“Callie! Give a girl some warning!” I almost scream. It looks up at me, its face already bloody, and bears its teeth at me in a sort of grin.  
“You little punk,” I find myself chuckling at her.  
I sit down on the ground, still holding the sword tightly, and sigh. I look up at the sky, pausing as I realize for the first time what has happened to me.  
“Let me tell you about my day, Callie,” I say, not really giving the forktail much warning. It lets out a rumbling noise, which I interpret as contentment as it feasts on its meal, “First, my house gets broken into, then I get attacked and wake up in a universe that I know doesn’t exist. And now, I have a forktail as a pet and I’m in front of a witcher school with nothing but a mysterious sword and the clothes off my back.”  
Speaking of my clothes, I look down at them. My favorite pair of jeans, my favorite pair of vans, a tank top, and my favorite flannel. Not the worst thing I could’ve been abducted in.  
“What the hell?” I hear from behind me. I scramble up, the sword dropping on the ground as a result. A face is peering at me from behind the iron gate.  
“Vesemir,” I say in surprise.  
“What? How do you know me? And why is that forktail not killing you?” Vesemir demands, his voice hard.  
“I don’t know,” I start, but Vesemir doesn’t look convinced.  
Callie lets out a screech from behind me, so I turn to find her flapping its wings. She starts screeching more and more, so I put my hands up.  
“Callie, girl, it's fine,” I say, though I don’t know if it is yet, “Callie. Callie. Callie!” I say her name sharper and sharper until she looks at me. She grows less agitated when she looks at me, but she snarls and keeps flapping her wings. So, I take a leap of faith and reach out my hand to her snout. I place it on her nose, the same place I did earlier. Instantly, she calms a little. I feel powerful, almost, as Callie calms down from my touch.  
“There you go, girl,” I murmur as my other hand comes to rest on her back. It’s almost like I’m petting a horse, but better.  
“Who are you?” Vesemir yells. I turn back to him.  
“Callie, keep eating,” I say softly as I walk to the gate. Vesemir backs up as I walk forward until he is a few feet from the gate when I approach it.  
I tell him my name, “It is nice to meet you, Vesemir.”  
“How do you know me? I’ve never seen you before in my life!”  
I sigh as I think about how to explain my origins, “Look, I’m not… from here. I don’t know how I got here, but I don’t live in your world. Where I come from, you and forktails and wyverns and ghouls and witchers and sorceresses are only book characters.”  
Vesemir's eyebrows furrow, but I keep talking, “I’m from… a different world. One where none of you are real. But, you are now, so I somehow ended up here. I don’t know,” I sigh, shrugging.  
He inspects me then, but not in a way that makes me feel uncomfortable.  
“I would say you are crazy, but your clothes are certainly nothing I’ve ever seen before.”  
I shift, “These are my favorites!”  
“But how in the world are you talking to a forktail like that?”  
“I don’t know, Vesemir,” I sigh.  
“Forktails are-”  
“Extremely dangerous draconids, I know. She was hurt, she stopped in front of me, I talked to her, and here we are. I don’t know what to tell you!” I feel myself grow a little frustrated at Vesemir’s insistent questioning, but I realize he’s as confused as I am.  
“And you know where you are?” He asks.  
“Yes, I’m at Kaer Morhen, the wolf witcher school,” I say, finally taking a closer look at the falling leaves on the trees in shades of red and orange, “And it seems to be autumn.”  
Vesemir looks between me and Callie.  
“Callie, come here,” I call to her, wanting to experiment with something. She screeches at me, but I hold firm, “Callie, here!”  
She squawks at me a little more, flapping her wings a little, but eventually limps towards me.  
“Callie, this is Vesemir. My friend,” I say slowly, petting her once more. She lets out a huff and a screech, baring her teeth at Vesemir, but I say her name firmly, “No. Vesemir’s good. Friendly.”  
I keep her standing there for a while until both her and Vesemir seem to settle down at each other’s proximity.  
“Alright. Now that introductions are made, I need to find somewhere to go,” I say, mostly to myself. Vesemir doesn’t seem to be listening, too intent on monitoring Callie.  
“Vesemir? Do you think I could… stay at Kaer Morhen for a little bit? Until I find a way to get back home?”  
He looks to me, debating so hard I can see steam almost come out of his ears.  
“Please? I will help out with anything you need,” I say, almost ready to beg. I need somewhere I know is safe, and Kaer Morhen is the only place I know and trust right now.  
He looks hesitant, but eventually nods, and I sigh in relief.  
“Your forktail stays outside,” Vesemir says firmly.  
“Callie? Are you alright to stay out here for the night?” I turn to her. She flaps her wings, letting out a little huff.  
“I’ll help you find a cave for tonight where you’ll be safe. And I’ll come back tomorrow,” I insist, patting her on her nose. It seems to be her favorite spot, and she finally nods.  
“Good girl,” I grin at her.  
“There’s a cave a little ways down the right path. There’s never any wolves or bears in it,” Vesemir supplies.  
“Thank you. Come on, Callie, I’ll take you there after you finish your dinner,” I motion to the wolf she hasn’t finished eating yet. She ruffles her wings and goes back to eating as I turn back to Vesemir.  
“May I ask some questions?”  
“About?”  
“Some people here? So I can figure out how much I know?”  
Vesemir nods.  
“Are Lambert, Eskel, and Geralt all witchers here?”  
Vesemir nods, looking startled.  
“And is Geralt with Yennefer right now?”  
Vesemir lets out a small snort, “I do not know how you would describe what they are right now.”  
“That doesn’t help,” I grumble, “And Ciri? Geralt’s law of surprise child?”  
Vesemir almost staggers back, “How did you-... Yes, she is alive and well.”  
“Is she being pursued by the Wild Hunt? How old is she?”  
“She is currently about 19, wandering on her own. The wild hunt has been defeated. How did you-” Vesemir’s eyebrows furrow once more.  
“It happened in the books,” I dismiss, thinking through the timeline. The Wild Hunt is actually from the Witcher 3, but I figure books are easier for Vesemir to conceptualize than video games.  
“Lambert, Eskel, and Geralt should all be arriving in a few days for the winter months,” Vesemir supplies. I perk up at that. I can’t help being a little excited to meet them all.  
Vesemir then looks at me and asks, “Are you… No, that’s impossible.”  
“What?”  
“My medallion’s humming from your presence.”  
“That can’t be good. I’m not a sorceress, or a witcher. I’m just human.”  
“But we still do not know how you got here,” Vesemir points out.  
“Yes,” I sigh, “I don’t know what to do now.”  
“Well, you will stay here until we can figure out more about you,” Vesemir scans the sky, “It will soon be nightfall. I suggest putting… Callie… in the cave for now until tomorrow.”  
I nod, picking up the sword from the ground, “Thank you, Vesemir. I’ll be back.”

That night, dinner is an awkward affair. Vesemir doesn’t really talk, but I don’t either, so we both just end up sitting there. Once we both finish, I offer to wash the plates up, but Vesemir insists on doing it. Finally, I let him, instead asking if I could go to the library to research some things. He shows me there, letting me know my temporary bedroom is right next to it anyways, and bids me goodnight.  
The library is a godsend. I’ve always loved reading, and the endless amounts of books only make me excited. I find that although there are endless expanses of books on creatures, there are also expanses of books on sorcery, alchemy, and even some romance novels. I settle into a more padded chair to read a book on the Lodge, almost squealing as I see Yennefer and Triss in there. The drawings of them are wonderful, and I find they look almost exactly like how they did in the Witcher 3. I can only hope everyone else will look similar so I can recognize them.  
I end up reading well into the night, but am still not tired. I consider what to do now. I change into a tunic and a pair of men’s pants as some sort of pajamas. They look similar to the basic shirts and pants from the Witcher 3, so I put them on, giddy in a weird way. I walk through the halls, my hand trailing the stone as I walk. My bare feet on the floor makes my body shiver with the cold, but it’s welcome. I walk for a while, until I finally start to feel exhausted. Sleep doesn’t come easy that night, but I manage to catch a little rest before Vesemir wakes me up that morning.  
Breakfast is just as uneasy. This time, I insist on doing the dishes, shooing him off when he tries to take the plates from me. When he leaves, I think I catch a slight smile on his face, but I chalk it up to imagination. After I finish those, I decide to leave on the shirt, but put back on my jeans and shoes for the day.  
I go outside to find Callie, and play with her for a bit. Mostly, she is still injured, so I bring her to the gate and ask Vesemir if I can have a wet cloth to wash off her wound with. He brings it to me, and I wash her belly, then her face as it still has wolf blood on it from yesterday.  
“Oh, Callie, I still have so much trouble believing this is real,” I sigh at her.  
Vesemir says my name from behind me. He is still behind the gate while I am outside with Callie. I turn to him.  
“Is this your sword?” He holds up the sword I used yesterday.  
“I don’t know. Where I’m from, we don’t use swords, but it was with me when I woke up yesterday.”  
“It is extremely fine craftsmanship. This is silver, made to be light and portable,” Vesemir mumbles to himself as he inspects it, stopping when he gets to the handle. He rushes off without another word, so I let him.  
“Where’s the nearest lake, girl?” I ask Callie, petting her. I tell her to wait by the gate and go to my room, grabbing the shirts and pants I’ve claimed as mine and some soap. I tell Vesemir where I am going, and he practically shoo’s me off. He’s in the library with the sword from yesterday on the table. He seems to be inspecting the handle, and I catch him writing the symbols down on a piece of parchment.  
“Well, I know Aard and Quen,” I say to Vesemir in passing before I go.  
“What?” His head snaps up to look at me.  
“Quen and Aard? Witcher signs? They’re right there and there,” I say, pointing them out to him. He looks at me for a few seconds after confirming I’m right.  
After a few seconds of him staring at me and not saying anything, I wave at him and go with Callie to the lake. It turns out to be more of a river, but I’m fine with that.  
Callie seems to be in love with the water. She splashes me like there’s no tomorrow, and I laugh as she seems to turn into a baby forktail. I wash my clothes and set them out on the nearby bank to dry, then set to washing my body. The last thing I wash is my hair, and after a while, I get out of the lake and go lie by the treeline. Nothing like a little medieval technology to get you comfortable being nude in the open. It is when I am in the middle of getting dressed I hear voices coming from the main path nearby. My heart pounds as I recognize one voice in particular.  
“Callie!” I call to her as she’s still splashing around in the lake. The voice I recognize stops speaking when I do. Knowing who it is makes my heart pound.  
“Callie! Come on, baby girl!” I try to pretend like having a baby forktail is a regular occurrence as I know soon the witchers will see me, or hear Callie. I finish putting on my jeans and top, then sit on the rock as I pull on my socks and shoes. She screeches at me.  
“No! Come on. We can come back tomorrow.”  
Her wings flap and she shakes her head at me.  
“Callie…” I warn her, my voice deadly serious. She screeches sadly and finally starts to walk to me. Right then, I hear running from the direction of the path, and I know instantly what is about to happen. I grab one of Callie’s wings, putting myself in front of her.  
Like I expected, three witchers come bursting into the clearing by the lake. They are still on the other side of the bank, but I know them from this distance anyways.  
“It’s fine! Everything’s fine!” I call to them, trying to keep my voice light so Callie won’t grow afraid.  
Geralt, Lambert, and Eskel all stop dead in their tracks. All of them were wielding their swords, but they all fall to their sides when they see Callie and I.  
“What the hell, lady?” Lambert is the first to talk, sounding almost panicked as he looks at Callie and I.  
“I said everything’s fine, Lambert!” I say, having to use his name so he knows I’m talking to him.  
“How do you-” Lambert starts, but I interrupt him.  
“Vesemir and I can explain everything when we get back to Kaer Morhen,” I say, noticing how all three of them relax a little at the mention of Vesemir.  
“How do you know Vesemir?” Lambert demands.  
“What did I just say?” I deadpan to him.  
Callie flaps her wings behind me, so I turn to her, patting her on the nose.  
“It’s fine girl, they’re friends, like Vesemir.”  
She screeches at them, making all three of them raise their swords again. Geralt seems to be more focused on me, while Eskel just looks plain confused. Lambert is busy eyeing Callie up.  
“Who are you?” Geralt says, his voice causing shivers to run down my spine.  
“Like I said, I will explain at Kaer Morhen,” I insist, grabbing my clothes after telling Callie to stay where she is.  
“You are aware that is a-”  
“Forktail, yes,” I sigh, “A dangerous draconid. Trust me, I am fully aware.”  
Eskel’s eyebrows raise at the fact that I know both what the beast is and it’s classification.  
“Alright, girl, come on,” I hop across the rocks on the shallow side of the river to the bank the witchers are standing on. All three of them stare at me the whole time I do, which makes me nervous. I know they can hear my heart pound. Eskel insists on Geralt and Lambert backing away from me with him, making me shoot him a grateful smile. Once Callie reaches the other side of the river, albeit slower than I did, I set to walking back with her. I know having Callie near Roach, Scorpion, and Lambert’s horse is a bad idea, so I leave them to mount once more by themselves and set out ahead of them to reach Kaer Morhen. On the way, I put my clothes on Callie’s backside, making her screech at me in indignation. I laugh at her, giving her a kiss on the nose which she accepts with a ruffle of her wings.  
“Alright, you hungry, girl?” I ask her once we reach the signpost of Kaer Morhen again. She nods at me, making me look around with a sigh.  
“Guess I’ll ask Vesemir for some meat. There isn’t another wolf around, is there, girl?”  
She screeches at me and jerks her head in the direction of the upcoming witchers.  
“No, Callie. Do not eat those horses,” She looks away from me, so I grab her face, making her look at me, “Do not eat Roach, Scorpion, or the other horse, you hear me?”  
She huffs at me, making me blink in surprise.  
“No, Callie. No eating horses. You hear me?” I say sternly.  
“She better not eat my horse!” Lambert calls. I forget they can hear exceptionally well.  
“She won’t! Right, Callie?” I ask her, still holding her head firmly.  
She huffs, then nods.  
“Good,” I let go of her head. She screeches and looks off towards the woods, where I hear rustling.  
“You’re still hurt, girl, you can’t go hunting.”  
She screeches once more, so I sigh.  
“Fine, go,” I wave my hand, grabbing my clothes from her back. She takes off, running much faster than I expected.  
“Be careful!” I call after her.  
“Did you seriously just tell a forktail to be careful?” Lambert asks, snorting at me. I glare at him, then turn around as I fold up my clothes. I stay silent as they call out for Vesemir. He finally comes to the gate, glancing from me to the witchers.  
“Where’s Callie?” Vesemir asks me before he opens the gate.  
“She went to go hunt.”  
“You don’t want to fight another wolf, get her dinner?” Vesemir asks, only half joking.  
“No,” I say simply, “Can you please open the gate?”  
He looks from me to the witchers, picking up on something, before nodding and doing as I asked. When he does, I rush inside, mumbling to Vesemir I’ll be in the library. I know all of them will prefer to hear my tale from Vesemir and not me, so I leave him to tell it to them after they all catch up. Being around the witchers is also extremely intimidating and makes me a little uncomfortable. I’m not uncomfortable because I’m afraid, just because I know so much about them. It almost makes me feel like a stalker, despite the fact I didn’t really do anything wrong.  
I put my clothes back in the chest in my room and change into my tank and flannel, then go to the library. The sword is still on the table, and as I look between all the books Vesemir has out, I find the page of paper Vesemir was drawing on earlier. It has multiple symbols on it, and I find that Vesemir has found all the witcher symbols, not just Aard and Quen, in the carvings on the hilt. There are also several that I have no idea what they are, but they seem to almost be like Elder Speech. So, I set to finding a book about Elder Speech. I look over countless books, but can’t find a single one that has any decent translations.  
It isn’t until Vesemir shows up at the door hours later that I notice how much time has passed.  
“Do you have a book on Elder Speech?” I ask him, not even looking up.  
“What?” He asks.  
“I think some of the symbols on the hilt might be Elder Speech,” I tell him.  
“How did you-” He rushes forward, grabbing the page I’m holding from me.  
“I don’t know,” I shrug.  
He narrows his eyes at me, then puts down the page, “Never mind that. Come on, dinner.”  
I wince, “Do you think I could just… have dinner in here?”  
His face morphs to be confused, “Why?”  
I shrug, “I don’t know.”  
“Are you… Afraid of them?”  
“No!” I rush to say as Vesemir's face seems to fall when he asks the question, “I just… It’s already awkward whenever I eat with you, having three more people there… It’ll just be really awkward.”  
“They’ll talk amongst themselves.”  
Vesemir seems to really want me to eat with them, so I shrug and get up. I take the paper from the table, making Vesemir shake his head at me.  
“Hey, it’s the only lead we have,” I say defensively, shrugging off my flannel. That leaves me in just my tank top, and I tie it around my waist so I don’t have to leave it in my room.  
“I know.”  
“So, it has all the witcher signs on it,” I say.  
“You know all of them?”  
“Yrden, quen, igni, axii and aard,” I say as we approach the table where the other witchers are already sitting.  
“How?”  
“The books,” I say, sitting down on the other side of the table from Lambert, Eskel, and Geralt. I’m facing Geralt, which I figure is a safe bet since he’s the quietest of them all.  
“Hmm…” Vesemir says, sitting a little bit away from me. He’s on the opposite side of Lambert, who’s next to Eskel, who’s next to Geralt. I sit quietly, and eat once I see Vesemir eat. I try to limit staring at any of them, and instead just let them talk about their year on the road.  
But eventually, Eskel says, “Alright, I gotta ask. How did you manage to become friends with a forktail and not get hurt?”  
I shrug, looking up at him as I say, “When I woke up, I was at the signpost. She came stumbling out of the woods hurt. Then a wolf attacked her, and I killed it. She ate it. We have been friends since then.”  
“You killed a wolf?” Lambert asks, scoffing. I look down, shrugging again.  
“Lambert,” Vesemir scolds lightly.  
“If it wasn’t for the sword I woke up with, I wouldn’t have,” I said, putting my fork down.  
“You woke with a sword?” Eskel asks.  
“Yes. It has the witcher signs and Elder Speech on the hilt.”  
“How do you know the signs and Elder Speech?” Geralt speaks for the first time.  
“I know the signs from the books in my universe, and the Elder Speech… I just guessed. Was I right?” I ask Vesemir.  
He nods, “It’s certainly Elder Speech from the looks of it. We’ll have to translate it.”  
“Don’t sorceresses know Elder Speech?” I ask, not wanting to mention Triss or Yennefer by name.  
“Yes,” Vesemir nods, “But you are not leaving Kaer Morhen for a while. You aren’t good to be out on the road if you don’t know how the world works yet.”  
I nod, then ask, “Could you… train me a little, then?”  
Everyone looks up at me in surprise. I shrink a little at the intensity of their gazes.  
“No fucking way,” Lambert says.  
“I didn’t ask you, I asked Vesemir,” I say, trying to contain my snark as I bristle at his barking tone.  
“No, but the answer’s still no,” He says, standing up and leaning over the table towards me. I shrink more.  
“Lambert!” Vesemir interrupts, “Sit down.”  
“Who does she think she is? Waltzing in here with a forktail and expecting to be trained like a witcher? A woman hasn’t even set foot in Kaer Morhen in years! Much less expecting a woman to be trained in combat!”  
I try to contain myself as my heart starts pounding. I knew Lambert could be a little prickly from the games, but this? He’s just being plain rude.  
“Excuse me,” I say, getting up and leaving. I almost run to my room, collapsing on the bed and shoving my face into the pillow. My shoulders heave as I try not to cry. The sexism of it all and the confrontational nature of Lambert doesn’t mix well with me. I don’t want to appear weak, but I wasn’t expecting this. I’m still overwhelmed with everything, and having someone I admire making me feel weak and stupid on top of that? It makes my heart pound.  
I’m in my room for a while. I wait until I hear everyone retire for the night, then go out to the huge main area where training happens. I see the horses in a covered stable area, and I go to them. I go near one, petting it. After a bit, the horse nuzzles me a little. From what I remember, the one nuzzling me in Scorpion. Roach is the lightest, but the one I’m petting has a darker coat and a red saddle, like Eskel’s shirt.  
“God, what am I gonna do, girl?” I whisper to her.  
She nickers a little, throwing her head back before nuzzling me.  
“Wanna know a secret?” I take something I’ve kept hidden from my back pocket, “I found this around my neck when I woke up. It’s the same medallion witchers from this school wear. I’m not sure why, but whenever I touch it, I can feel it vibrating, you know?”  
The horse nickers again, almost like it’s reacting to my story.  
“But it’s not like I want to go through the trial of the grasses or anything. Just wanna fight. Don’t want to be… helpless,” I sigh, spreading my flannel out on the ground and laying on it. I put it where my hair drapes so I won’t have to pick leaves from it. I stare up at the sky. My fingers clutch the medallion hard, a thrum going through my fingers that are on it. The stars call down to me, and eventually I find myself staring at them while I hum one of my favorite songs.  
“You alright?” A voice from my right startles me. I quickly sit up, ceasing my humming as Eskel stares at me.  
“What?” I ask.  
“Are you ok? I know Lambert was a little… intense earlier,” He comes a little closer and sits on the ground next to me.  
“I’m… fine, I guess,” I say quietly, picking a blade of grass and twirling it in between my fingers.  
“He has his reasons. He assumed you meant…”  
“Turn into a witcher? No,” I snort, “Not on my agenda. I just want to be able to defend myself. I know the types of monsters in this world, human and non-human.”  
Eskel nods, but doesn’t say anything.  
“If you want… I’ll teach you.”  
I stare at him in surprise, “Really?”  
He nods, “I don’t think it’s a bad idea. And we’re both gonna be here for a while, anyway.”  
“You’re being serious?” I ask.  
He nods, a small smile growing on his face.  
“Thank you!” I want to hug him, because I’m now bursting with excitement, but I refrain.  
“One one condition!” Eskel says. I nod, gesturing for him to go on.  
“If your forktail eats Scorpion… it’s over.”


	2. Chapter 2: Training and Meeting the Women

“No, don’t do that,” Eskel says, “That’s leaving your left side exposed.”  
I groan, “But that’s what you showed me to do!”  
“No, I showed you to do it like this,” He demonstrates, using his own steel sword to strike the dummy in the way he said, though it looks like exactly what I did to me, “Now try again.”  
Eskel stalks around me as I try again, hitting the dummy in the area he did.  
“Better. Again,” He insists.  
I do, doing it again and again until he finally says, “Almost perfect. We can take a break now.”  
I nod, going over to a bench and sitting down.  
“You’re not doing too bad,” Eskel says, going over and sitting with me, “You keep this up, we might be able to actually spar in a few weeks.”  
“Yes!” I cheer, albeit with little energy behind it.  
“Here,” Eskel hands me his water skin, “Drink up.”  
I do, then wipe my mouth and hand it back to him, “So, do you, Lambert, and Geralt come here every winter?”  
“Lambert and I do. Sometimes, Geralt doesn’t.”  
“Because he’s with Yennefer. Or Triss,” I ponder.  
“Yeah.”  
We’re silent for a few moments, before I ask Eskel, “Do you think there’s ever going to be a way for me to get home?”  
He doesn’t respond for a few moments, before he says, “I’m sure we can find a way.”  
“Eskel, don’t lie,” I sigh, looking across the field and considering where I am, “I know you don’t think I’ll ever make it back. Not sure I think I will, either. It’s already been three months.”  
He says my name, “I’m sorry. I really am. Can’t imagine what it’s like to wake up in a different world where monsters are real.”  
“Well, you don’t have to. You’ve never known anything but monsters and fighting them,” I say, thinking about my old apartment. I think of the table right beside my door that always let out a little squeak whenever I would throw my keys down on it. Then, I recall the crooked cabinet door to the left of my oven and how it never quite shut right. And lastly comes the realization I might not ever see those things again, something I’ve thought of more and more as more time goes by here.  
“It’s our job,” Eskel says softly.  
I snort, “Yeah, a shitty one.”  
“Got that right,” Lambert says, walking into the courtyard with Geralt, “What’s up, mini?”  
I groan at his nickname, “Nothing, squirt.”  
He narrows his eyes at me.  
I look at him innocently, “What?”  
“If you weren’t a girl, I’d knock you to the ground,” He grumbles, making me laugh.   
“If you could,” I tease, making Lambert cross his arms.  
“Not right now,” Geralt interrupts, “Both of you need to be on your best behavior for when everyone arrives today.”  
“Who’s coming again?” I ask.  
“Well, Ciri, Yennefer, and Triss.”  
I try not to groan, “That’s gonna be fun.”  
“Don’t you start,” Geralt almost growls at me. I grin back.  
“Alright. That’s enough for today. Why don’t you go get ready?” Eskel asks, patting me on the back. His hand on my shoulder gives me a warm feeling, something I’ve been noticing happen a lot more lately, but I push it aside.  
“Yeah, go put on a dress, mini,” Lambert calls after me.  
I flip him off as he laughs at himself, “Fuck dresses!”

But, I do take Callie and go for a dive in the river. While I’m there, I consider everything that’s happened in the past month. I’ve been training every day, helping Vesemir out to rebuild Kaer Morhen, and Lambert and I are finally on better terms after our rocky beginnings. Geralt and I aren’t really close, but I get the feeling he’s dealing with his own things right now, so I leave him alone. Eskel and I- we’re closer. Out of anyone, he’s the one I talk to the most. With training, we’re together more anyways, and sometimes I’ll tell him about my old life or the differences between this world and my old one. We’ve had a few chats that turn into conversations, mostly in the library late at night. We’ll end up talking for hours sometimes, but it only ever feels like minutes to me.  
“My old world,” I murmur. When did I start thinking of it like that? I’m not sure.  
I get out of the river, pulling on my pants and shirt. Today, I’m in the clothes I found here, not my jeans and tank top.   
“Come on, Callie!” I call to her, securing my sword on my back. I’ve taken to wearing it whenever Callie and I go out, just in case. If anything, it makes me feel a little bit better to have protection with me.  
Callie gets out and shakes a little, then starts to walk with me back to Kaer Morhen. While we do, I hum a song to myself. However, when we’re down the road from the gate, about a five minute walk away, a noise sounds out that makes my heart stop.  
It’s a screech, like Callie’s, but higher pitched. It sends a shiver down my back.  
I immediately turn to Callie, telling her quietly, “Go get Eskel, girl. Now.”  
She shakes her head, letting out a screech.  
Right then, a wyvern comes out of the sky and lands behind us. The opposite way is to Kaer Morhen, and I know if Callie can make it there, I can get some backup.  
“Callie! Go,” I almost yell at her as I take out my sword. I look around to see if I can find any cover. To the right is the cave Callie used to stay in, and I could try to hide in that. The wyvern in front of me seems to be too big to fit in there, but it’s a bet that could end badly if it can squeeze its way in. Callie takes off flying then, and the wyvern screeches at her, but doesn’t go after her. It stays focusing on me. I grip my sword as I start to feel my heart pound. Adrenaline seems to make my senses sharper, and I pray what Eskel has been teaching me helps me out here. I back up a little, trying to put enough space between me and the wyvern. If I distance myself, I have more time to react, I remind myself.   
My eyes seem to grow sharper as I look at the monster in front of me, investigating the best plan of attack. It seems like the best bet right now is to go for the stomach- or the head. The stomach would slow it down, but the neck is a good sensitive spot. The neck, however, is a small target, and I think it would be too hard to hit.  
While I analyze the wyvern, it starts to curl up, tensing as its wings retract. I see the left one twitch, so I roll to a nearby stone as it slashes out, using it’s left wing to try and knock me down where I was standing. I’m to the right of it now, so I slash at its junction of it’s wing. Blood pours out as it lets out a pained screech. It turns its attention to the stone, but when it does, it leaves its head open. So, I take a chance and slash at it’s head, trying to get at one of the eyes. My blade grazes the right eye, leaving a gash across the wyvern’s face. It lets out another painful screech, flapping its wings as it seems to lift up a little. It tries to snap at me. I dodge out of the way, but then it dives for me, knocking me to the ground. It lands on top of me, it’s claws on either side of me. I wince, trying to use my blade to hit its stomach. I land a little bit of a hit, but then it uses its claw to knock me around, loosening my grip on my sword until I cry out. It slashes my hand, and then I feel a claw sink into my forehead. I let out a true scream then, wanting to hold my forehead and cry. My eyes grow blurry, and in a moment of panic, I thrust my hand out wildly. A burst seems to come from my hand as the wyvern is knocked back. I stare at my hand in wonder for a moment. Did I just-?  
The wyvern screeches, stunned for a second. I quickly grab my blade, using the distraction to hit in once more, this time near its neck. Blood once again spurts, getting all over my pants, but I ignore it. A wing hits me hard in my side, sending me flying a few feet. My blade is still in my hand, but once I land, it tumbles a few feet away. The wyvern comes lunging at me. I put my hands up, crossed like Wonder Woman, in an effort to protect my face, and-  
A yellow-orange bubble forms around me. I gasp, then scream as I see the wyvern trying to tear through the bubble. Thinking fast, I grab my sword, plunging it up and through its jaw, impaling it’s head in one swoop as I scream again, this time in frustration at the attack. The sword comes out of the other side of the wyverns head, soaked in blood and with a few pieces of pink brain on it. It caws, and slashes its wings a little, but the fatal blow proves to be what I needed as the wyvern quickly goes silent. It starts to caw pitifully, and I use the moment to slash its head clean off of its body. Once I do that, I collapse a few feet away, feeling my body ache and blood start to overtake my vision. I know I got cut good on my face, but I have no idea if there’s any more specific wounds. I see my sword next to me, covered in brain and blood, and I throw up, coughing pitifully. I start to try to crawl, but I’m too exhausted to stand or put power behind my hand and legs. I keep crawling for a bit, until I hear more familiar screeching of another monster. This one, though, is from the direction of Kaer Morhen.  
“Callie?” I call, feeling my throat protest. I also hear several pairs of hooves, so I figure at least someone is on their way. With that thought, I let my body drift off, right when yelling starts to echo around me.

Waking up this time felt different. When I first woke up in this world, I was peaceful in a weird way, feeling the time settle into my bones. Now, all I feel is pain all over. If I even move a muscle, I hurt, but if I stay still, the pain settles into my bones. I let out a groan, holding my hands over my stomach even as my upper arms protest. My eyes are blurry when I open them, unfocused from the pain, so I close them. Even my eyelids throb as I lay on something soft.  
“Hey, take it easy,” A voice murmurs from my side, hands coming to ease me back down to the bed and a laying down position.  
“Eskel?” I try to stick my hand out to see where he is, and once I feel a knee, I relax into my bed, keeping my hand there. Eskel’s hand comes to cover mine, making me smile, but then I almost bolt up, “Callie! Is she…”  
“Hey, Callie’s fine. She’s outside, screeching up a fit because she wants to see you.”  
“I want to see her,” I insist, opening my eyes and already swinging my legs around so I can get off of my bed. The pain increases when I do that, but it is still bearable, so I wince, but keep going.  
“No way! You just woke up!” Eskel’s hands land on my shoulders again, pushing me back down gently onto the bed.  
“How long has it been?”  
“Almost two days.”  
“What?” I almost yell.  
“You haven’t woken up at all. If it wasn’t for us being able to hear your heart, we would’ve thought you…”  
I stop, feeling Eskel’s emotions come at me, almost in waves.  
“Eskel,” I say, grabbing his hands and looking into his eyes, “I'm fine. I promise.”  
“I know. But what if… you weren’t?” He asks, looking down. For once, I think I see Eskel truly worried and upset. It makes me startle for a second.  
“I’m sorry I made you feel that way,” I put my hand on the side of his face, “But you’ve trained me well enough to give me a fighting chance. Put your faith in yourself and me. We’ve been working together. And we’ll keep going.”  
“I know. I was so worried when Callie came back without you, screeching like a banshee. I instantly knew something was wrong,” Eskel says, leaning forward to get closer to me.  
This moment between Eskel and I feels strangely intimate. It makes me shudder as the warmth of his hands travels all over my skin. I look away from him, trying to absorb what’s happening, but I don’t push his hands away.   
“Everyone was worried. Even Ciri and Triss.”  
I let out a snort, “They haven’t even met me.”  
“I know. But we were all so stressed, I think they picked up on it.”  
“I’m glad you guys have grown to care about me,” I sigh, laying back down, “What time is it?”  
“It’s… almost dinner time.”  
“I want to eat with you guys,” I say immediately.  
Eskel’s shaking his head before I get the words out, saying my name, “No way.”  
“Please, Eskel? I want to meet everyone. And I need to see Callie.”  
“You’re still in pain.”  
“Yes, I am. But I’ve rested, I want to get out. If you don’t help me, I’ll do it myself,” I insist, trying to get out of the bed.  
“Fine!” Eskel almost growls, “You’re so stubborn.”  
“I’ve picked it up from a few witchers I know,” I try to grin at him cheekily, but I think it came out as more of a grimace. I look down, noticing how I’m wearing a new long tunic.  
“We patched it into a dress,” Eskel says almost shyly. I notice how the top is like a shirt, but the bottom is made of pants material sewn into the hem sloppily. My heart skips a beat at the thought of Eskel or Geralt sewing this for me.  
“I want to wear my jeans and flannel,” I tell Eskel.  
“Alright.”  
He doesn’t move.  
I smirk at him, gesturing to the door, “You wanna leave so I can change, or…?”  
Eskel’s face flushes, and I think I see a blush crawling up his neck as he leaves, telling me to call if I need him. I change slowly, in pain for every second of it but excited to see everyone again and meet the new people at the dinner table. Once I’m done, I call Eskel, telling him he can come in again.  
“Damn,” I mumble, looking in the mirror, “Must be one hell of a scar on my forehead.”  
My midsection is wrapped up, and there’s a circle bandage around my head guarding off all of my forehead. It makes my hair feel weird to have something holding it in place, but it seems like it was necessary.  
“It’s right on your hairline, from your temple to halfway across your forehead,” Eskel mumbles, standing behind me, “It was bleeding a lot. We had to stitch it a little.”  
“Alright. Could you… help me walk? My legs don’t exactly feel… stable yet.”  
Eskel nods, taking my arm like he’s about to walk me down the isle for a wedding.  
“Ready?” He asks me.  
“Ready. Can we see Callie first?” I look up at him, smiling at the thought of my baby.  
“Sure. She’s been itching to see you and make sure you’re ok.”  
I expect Eskel to take me to the gate, but instead he takes me to the courtyard. I look at him in surprise, but he just grins, making my stomach turn with butterflies.  
As soon as I step foot outside, I see Callie pacing on the other side of the courtyard. I think someone else is here, but I only look at my baby.  
“Callie!” I call. Her head snaps up and she shrieks as her eyes find me. I grin at her excitement. She comes bounding over, knocking me down in her haste to get to me. I let out a cry, but then she starts nuzzling me and I laugh. My hands pet her head, and I talk to her.  
“I know, I missed you too. Thank you for getting Eskel, Lambert, and Geralt, you saved me,” I coo at her. I stay on the ground, suffocated in the best way by my loving forktail, until Eskel tries to tell Callie that’s enough.   
“Alright, girl. Eskel’s getting crabby. We can do more when I’m healed,” I say, getting up with Eskel’s help. I let out a few groans as my midsection starts to hurt, but mostly I feel fine, just the general pain I woke up with. Callie keeps nuzzling me, eventually nuzzling me so hard I crash into Eskel. My head ends up on his chest as my hands scramble to hold myself up.  
“S-sorry,” I mumble as Eskel helps me up. We stare at each other for a few seconds as he hold me in his arms. As cliche as it is, I forget about everything else for a second at the closeness of us. My eyes flicker to his lips, and his do the same to mine. His tongue darts out to lick them, and the sight of his tongue makes a flush go through my body.  
“It’s fine,” He whispers. His eyes are centimeters from mine, and I admire the hue of the amber that is so uniquely... Eskel.   
“Mini!” Lambert comes waltzing up to me, sufficiently interrupting… whatever that was with Eskel and pats me on my back just a little too hard. I wince.   
“Squirt,” I say, feeling so tired I decide to just give him a hug, “Glad I can see you again.”  
“You’re lucky you’re so hurt. You’re in for an earful later,” Lambert whispers to me as he embraces me in earnest. I grin.  
“I always am. Where’s Vesemir?”  
“With everyone else, at the table. We’re the last ones.”  
“Alright,” I say, drawing myself up and grabbing Eskels arm, “Let’s do this shit.”

When I walk into the room, I notice how everyone is sitting. Geralt is in between Yennefer and Ciri, while Triss is on the opposite side of them, facing Ciri. Vesemir is next to Ciri, and so I sit next to Triss, wincing and letting out a sharp noise of pain as I sit. Instantly, Triss helps steady me. I shoot her a grateful smile as Eskel takes the seat next to me, putting him across Yennefer. Lambert sits opposite of Vesemir.  
“Well, Triss, Yennefer, Ciri, it is nice to finally meet you,” I smile at each of them, looking at them in their eyes. Ciri instantly strikes me as being very nice and mature. Triss seems very concerned for me, making me like her instantly. Yennefer regards me in a cool manner, but her body is turned towards me and inspects me as I sit. She’s a little more closed off, and I’ll admit I’m not the biggest fan of her from the games, but the show redeems her. So, I resolve to at least be polite and kind towards her like everyone else.  
“It is wonderful to meet you!” Ciri says, immediately looking to engage me in conversation, “I have to ask. How in the world did you get a forktail as a pet?”  
I smile at her, “Well, when I first landed in this world, I was right by the signpost outside. I didn’t know what was happening, but when I was about to try to get Vesemir’s help, Callie came out from the woods. She was hurt and collapsed right in the path. She didn’t try to attack me, and I killed a wolf for her, then I gave her her name and she liked it. Since then, we’ve just…” I shrugged, “Been friends.”  
“Have you tried riding her yet?” Ciri’s face lights up in a smile. I give her a wicked grin back.  
“Not yet, but it's first on my list when I get healed.”  
Eskel tenses beside me, muttering something along the lines of, “No the hell you won’t.” I put a hand on his knee, pat it, then remove it a few seconds later to calm him down.  
“So, do you know much of this world?”   
I think about the question for a second, “I suppose that depends on how you look at it. From the books, shows, and games, I know a lot. But in practicality? Nothing,” I shake my head, eating a few bites of potatoes.  
“Do you possess magic?” Yennefer asks suddenly.   
“Me? Oh, no,” I almost laugh at the idea of me as a sorceress, “Definitely not. Magic was not a thing in my old world.”  
“Neither were monsters?” Triss asks.  
“No. And witchers didn’t exist, either.”  
“I think I’ve been where you are describing. When Avallac’h and I were… we ended up going to many worlds.”  
“We had buildings made of glass and steel that went to the sky,” I let out a sentimental sigh, “electricity.”  
“Electricity?”  
“Imagine a candle you never had to light, but 100 times brighter. All you had to do was press a button to turn it on. That’s electricity.”  
“Yes! I was there!” Ciri grows excited, her food completely forgotten as she stares at me.  
“You were probably in New York if there were lots of people,” I grin at her. A sort of sadness settles in my heart. I feel homesick, but also think about my family I left behind. I grow quiet, eating more potatoes so I don’t have to talk again.  
"And the giant metal things painted many colors people would ride in on stone paths… What were those?" She looks to me for an answer.  
I have to think for a second, "Do you mean cars?"  
She snaps her fingers, pointing at me, "Yes, cars!"  
"What?" Eskel asks.   
"Cars are like carriages, but not driven by horses. They use oil and… Metal to power themselves. We ride in them."  
"Do you name them like we name out horses?" Eskel's question is innocent, but the answer makes me blush as I think of my car back home.   
"Yes, some of us do. Mine was actually named Roach. After… Geralt's horse," I shoot him a shy smile as he looks up at me in surprise, "A 2009 Toyota Corolla. Beast of a car. A real beauty. So, I named her Roach, after the best mare there was.”  
Geralt and I stare at each other for a few seconds, before I clear my throat and look down at my lap. A blush starts to creep onto my cheeks.   
"I sense magic in you," Yennefer says, declaring it in such a way that leaves no room for arguments.  
I scoff, "No way."  
I'm still looking down, so I don't catch the way Yennefer's eyes flare.   
"I think Yennefer's right. I sense it as well," Triss says gently.   
"It would explain why our medallions hum," Vesemir continues, "And the elder speech."  
"Elder speech? You know elder speech?" Yennefer narrows her eyes at me.  
I look up and meet them head on, "No. It was on my sword I came here with."  
"I must inspect it, then," Yennefer says. Her tone carries finality.   
"Sure. Might have to pick the wyvern brains off of it first, though," I shrug. I try not to grit my teeth. I hate how Yennefer's speaking to me. Her tone has an air of condescension that makes my bones shiver in anger.  
She narrows her eyes at me once more, but neither of us talk after that. Lambert lets out a snort, but tries to cover it up with a cough afterwards.   
Triss shifts the conversation then, turning to Ciri and asking her something. I find myself tuning them out as I start to think. Something about Yennefer saying she senses magic in me makes a small light go off in the back of my head. How can I possess magic when that isn't a thing where I come from? I furrow my eyebrows. What are the ways to transfer magic to someone?   
And then my mind remembers the wyvern fight. I used aard and quen somehow. My mind growd dizzy at one thought. Am I…   
I grab onto Eskels shoulder, suddenly feeling weak. In a flash, his arm wraps around me. It helps me stay upright as I sway. The thoughts swirling in my mind make me feel more and more uneasy. I clutch at Eskel's shirt, leaning into him as my stomach knots up. Eventually, I feel his hand on my backside. It warms me up in the same way I've been noticing recently, and that warmth seems to make the dizziness fade. I purposely keep holding onto Eskel for a bit. The medallion in my back pocket is burning a hole through my pocket, so I take it out, clutching it in my hand instead. It goes back to Eskels shirt, and I know he feels the addition of something in my hand, but he doesn't question it as I keep silent. I hear him call my name, and it takes about a minute before I feel lucid enough to respond. I look up at him. His face is transformed into a worried expression. His eyes inspect me for something. Eventually, I separate from him and give a firm nod.   
"I'm alright now. I got dizzy and didn't want to pass out on the table."  
I look around subtly, but the only people I find looking at me are Geralt and Eskel. I nod at Geralt as I turn back to my food.   
"Thanks, Eskel. I promise I'm fine now."  
"Are you sure? Do you want to go back to your room?" His hands wander over my back, I guess searching for something wrong with me. His fingertips are heated on my back, making my stomach turn and my insides glow with the attention.  
"No, it was just a little dizziness. I promise I'm fine."   
His eyes train on my face, this time I guess searching for if I'm lying or not. I keep looking at him seriously, then pat his knee with my hand and give him a smile. Finally, he nods and turns to his plate. Geralt keeps looking at me for a few more seconds, but then Yennefer asks him something and he turns to her, responding in the rumbling way he always does with a few words.  
The rest of the dinner, I'm quiet. If someone asks me something, I answer, but otherwise I keep to myself. The thoughts swirling around my head keep me occupied. I keep wondering what to do about my presence of magic and the fact that I can cast signs. Both are abilities I know I didn't have before.   
When everyones cleared their plate, I go to pick them up, but Vesemir shoo's me off, insisting I need to go rest now as he and Geralt pick up the plates. Eskel agrees, since he holds onto my arm and steers me immediately back to my bedroom. I wave at everyone, fighting as I try to get out of Eskel's grip. It isn't until I am in my bed that Eskel relents.   
"If you insist on keeping me in my bed," I huff, "will you at least give Yennefer my sword? I don't know what you guys did with it, but she needs it."  
Eskel nods, "It's in my room. I'll grab it for Yennefer."  
"Don't let her cast a spell on it," I insist, pointing my finger at Eskell, "or I'll let Callie eat Scorpion."  
Eskel gasps, "You wouldn't!"  
"Try me," I tease, laying back.   
He laughs, then adjusts the blankets over me. I thank him, then start to close my eyes. As much as I hate to admit it, I am very tired from getting out of bed, so I start to nod off immediately.   
It isn't until then that I notice the wolf medallion is still in my hand. I put it on the bedside table while Eskel blows out the candles. Before he reaches, he leans over, planting a soft kiss on the crown of my head. I smile dreamily at the gesture, thinking I must be already dreaming.

I’m out like a light that night, and I don’t wake until the next morning when Geralt walks into my room.  
“Good morning,” I tell him, stretching.  
“Good morning. I’m supposed to help you to the table for breakfast.”   
“I think I can handle it this morning,” I smile at him. He doesn’t smile back, but it doesn’t bother me.  
“Mind waiting outside while I change?” I ask rhetorically.  
He nods and leaves. I put on one of the old shirts and pants in the chest. Instead of calling out for Geralt, I walk to the door and open it. Geralt turns around in a flash, but I remember before we leave that the medallion is still on my table.  
“Wait!” I say, trying to get to my bedside table as fast as possible. I scoop up the medallion, but when I turn around, I bump into Geralt’s chest.  
“What is that?” He asks me, staring at the medallion as though it will attack him at any moment.  
“Oh. When I woke up in front of Kaer Morhen, this was around my neck,” I shrug, putting it in my pocket.  
“Let me see it,” He demands. I give it to him. He takes it, then inspects it for a moment.  
“Hmm…” He grumbles, using his thumb to wipe over it as he stops abruptly.  
“It’s just the medallion.”   
“That’s the problem. Why do you have a witcher medallion? It’s more powerful than ours.” After a moment, he looks up at me. His eyes are intense and makes my stomach turn like it does whenever Eskel touches me.  
I shrug, “All I know is, I woke up with a sword and that around my neck.”  
He grabs my face suddenly but not roughly, inspecting it as I let out a gasp. His eyes search deep in mine, and for a moment, I find myself lost in them. His hands are rough, callused, but those calluses make my skin shiver as they brush against it. Despite this, his hold on my face is soft. The softness is one which I can tell he doesn’t show much. One of my hands tentatively rests on his on the right side of my face, and I find myself enchanted by his eyes. Eskel and Geralt have the exact same eyes- but they are so different at the same time. Geralt’s eyes are hard, but not unfriendly, and they just scream… Geralt. Eskel’s eyes are kind and soft, an amber liquid, in a way that is just… Eskel.  
I snap out of it then as I realize Geralt and I have been staring at each other’s eyes for longer than normal. I blush, ripping his hands off of my face as I stutter.  
“W-we should… go- breakfast,” I mumble, rushing out of my room and leaving Geralt behind. I don’t catch it, but Geralt’s face melts to one of surprise as I stumble out of the room.   
Yennefer doesn’t waste time when I show up to the table, Geralt on my trail. As I sit, Eskel comes up beside me, helping me down. We end up in the same seats as yesterday, and I engage Triss in pleasant conversation about her first night in Kaer Morhen while we settle in.  
“Did you know you could cast signs?” Yennefer demands, right when I bring my fork full of eggs to my mouth. I sigh, consider my answer, then nod reluctantly.  
“What?” Lambert bursts, “You can cast witcher signs and casually forgot to tell the witchers about it?”  
“I didn’t forget,” I explain, swallowing my eggs and putting down my fork, “I found out in my fight with the wyvern. I casted aard and quen during the fight. I was going to bring it up when I was healed so we could figure out what it meant.”  
“But you’re not a witcher,” Eskel’s eyebrows furrow.   
“I know. But, since we seem to be revealing things at breakfast now,” I sigh, trying not to send an annoyed look Yennefer's way, “I was wearing this when I woke up.”  
As soon as I set the medallion on the table, Yennefer grabs it. But, as soon as her fingers close around it, she hisses, throwing it back onto the table.  
“It burned me!” She exclaims, holding her hand. I glance at Geralt, confused as to why he could hold it earlier but Yennefer cannot now. I pick it back up, and it doesn’t burn me.   
“Geralt,” I say, and he understands immediately. He holds out his hand and I drop the medallion in it. He doesn’t even flinch.  
“Doesn’t burn me.”  
“Lambert?” I ask. I do the same to him and let it drop in his palm. He immediately releases it, hissing like Yennefer did. We test everyone at the table, and the only people who can hold it are me, Geralt, and Eskel.  
“Where could it come from?” I ask.  
“It possesses a tremendous amount of magic…” Triss adds, sitting back in her chair as she contemplates it.  
“The only thing I can think of that is capable of doing this…” I say, then gasp as I think about what this could be.  
“What?”   
I ignore the question Triss asks me, instead looking at Yennefer and asking, “Have you translated the elder speech yet?”  
She shakes her head.  
“We need to. I think I know what it is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't going to update, but then I realized I have over 70 pages of this already written sitting there waiting to be published in my google docs... So I'm updating surprise! Note: I am a full-time college student with a part-time job, so my updates will be infrequent and sporadic (as shown by the fact this is my first update in like three months) but I do consistently work on this story in my free time! I have lots of things planned, and I'm going to try to update more consistently, maybe once a week or something. Not committing to anything yet, but I am going to be trying to have a more concrete updating schedule.
> 
> Also: Is the formatting weird to read? I paste directly from google docs, but going through and re-indenting all the lines is so much work, I just don't do it. But, if it's easier to read with indentations, I can do it. But, it will take me some time. Let me know if you're ok with it like this!


	3. Chapter 3: Of Existential Crises and Passion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter does contain smut between Eskel and the reader! It might seem long overdue for some of you, but I wanted the reader to become friends with everyone, especially Eskel and Geralt, before starting on the romance. It is my personal belief any good relationship, marriage or companionship, needs to start with friendship, as it is the best foundation for any relationship. If you don't like that, that's cool! But that is my reasoning for delaying it to chapter three. Please also keep in mind the reader has been at Kaer Morhen with the witchers for about three to four months at this time- which I think is long enough to start to develop feelings for someone. Also: the reader is slightly self-conscious and slightly reserved about sex- if you are not either of those things, don't worry! It doesn't play a major role. Just ignore it. Hope you enjoy! As always, any feedback is welcome.
> 
> In addition to feedback, please comment about whether you prefer Eskel and Geralt to be romantically involved, too, or not, and instead they are only interested in the reader. 
> 
> Stay safe!

I refuse to say more about it at breakfast, but as soon as I clean all the plates and wipe down the table, much to Vesemir’s and Eskel’s protest, and maybe Geralt’s if his lingering eyes are any indication, I insist on going to the library and helping the sorceresses translate the elder speech. Eskel and Geralt follow me, and so does Ciri. So, we all end up in the library as I scan the shelves for a specific book. Lambert and Vesemir eventually join us, but Lambert tries to seem uninterested.   
“How are we supposed to help you look if you won’t tell us what to look for, mini?” Lambert asks, sitting on a chair and crossing his arms. He looks at me expectantly, so I sigh.  
“I think its a djinn.”  
The room goes quiet.   
“A djinn? What would a djinn want with you?” Ciri asks, but not unkindly.  
“I’m not sure. I remember when I first got here, I started researching the different monsters. In the books from my universe, djinns are thought of as one of the most powerful forces that can do almost anything.”  
“That’s true,” Geralt nods at me.  
“Right. What other entity could be powerful enough to pull me from one world and put me into another one? And, when I was reading in here a few weeks ago, I found a passage on djinn. It mentioned sorceresses can bind themselves to djinn and draw from their magic. What if I somehow did that when the djinn got me? And that’s why I can do magic?” I say, the gears in my head turning.  
“That’s a very… outlandish hypothesis,” Yennefer interjects, standing by the hilt of my sword.  
“It’s the only thing we have right now,” I say to her, “Beside the elder speech we haven’t translated.”  
“I’ve translated fragments,” Triss speaks up, “And that’s how we knew you could do the witcher signs. The symbols and speech on the hilt of your sword seem to be stating abilities and spells that are under an engraving of your name, but we haven’t gotten all of them,” Triss says, exchanging a look at Yennefer.  
“What we do have is the signs, your name, and…” Yennefer pauses then, making me look at her, “You might want to sit down for this one.”  
I do, only because her face morphs to a grim frown, then ask her, “What else is there?”  
She sighs, “The mutagens and potions introduced during the trial of the grasses.”

Hours later, I look up at the sky as I lay on the training ground. Clouds drift by, and I try to find shapes in them to distract my mind. Occasionally, a sigh tumbles from my lips. Tears spill from my eyes every once in a while, and a sniffle leaves my mouth. After finding more blobs than people or objects in the clouds, I sit up and put my head in my hands. More tears leak from my eyes and my shoulders start to quake. Footsteps approach, so I hastily try to dry my tears, looking to my left as Triss sits beside me. Her hand comes to rest on my back, and I shoot her a weak smile.  
“Hey,” She says softly, “How are you holding up?”   
“Not great,” I say, struggling to contain my tears as I find myself thinking again of the witcheras in my life, “I- I…”  
“I know. Is there anything I can do to help?” Triss asks carefully.  
“I don’t know,” I sigh, putting my head in my hands again, “Right now, not really. Unless there’s a suicide spell somewhere in your repetoire?”  
Triss gasps, and says my name in a reprimanding way, “Don’t say that!”   
I nod, not bothering to look up as I hear two more sets of footsteps approach us.   
“Hey,” Ciri says, sitting down to my right as Yennefer stands in front of us, “Thought you could use some water.”  
She holds out the skin to me, and I whisper out a thank you as I take it. I drink from it, then give it back to Ciri.  
“Do you think…” Ciri starts, but Yennefer says her name, then shakes her head.  
“That’s the question, isn’t it?” I ask, letting out a humorless laugh, “Will I do the trial of the grasses?”  
“You don’t… have to, you know? Staying as you is perfectly ok,” Triss tries to say.  
“I know. And I know the chances. Three out of ten isn’t great, and that’s for boys. Not a woman. The witcher mutagens aren’t even supposed to be able to work on me. Not unless I have a hidden penis somewhere that came here with me,” I shrug, being crass in the worst way. I can’t help but wish none of this had ever happened, despite how happy I was just a week ago.  
“I wish I could just go back home,” I sob, feeling tears roll down my face more often. Hands go to rub my back, and I use mine to block my face. I cry into them, the tears now constant streams down my face. The training yard is silent except for my sobs for a long time, until my cries diminish into sniffles and coughs.  
Finally, I start to speak again, “I haven’t told the men this because I fear this would offend them. Where I come from, the books and other things have Geralt, Eskel, Lambert, and Vesemir as heroes. In my mind, they are. Whenever I think about them, I think about how selfless and kind and honorable they are. And I would wonder what it would be like to be a witcher, too. I wanted to be one for the longest time. Being able to help people, risk my life for others…” I shake my head, “It seemed so wonderful. I dreamed of it. But now, I have the choice to do that, and I fear taking the opportunity.”  
“I agree that those men are four of the best,” Yennefer says, “But it isn’t selfish of you to have some reservations. A choice like this is monumental. You don’t have to make the decision right now.”  
“Yennefer’s right,” Triss says gently, “And, not to add pressure to it, but this is a permanent one you’ll have to live with. You don’t need to choose right now to do it.”  
We’re all silent then as I consider their words.  
“I get how you feel,” Ciri speaks up a few minutes of thinking, “When I went to defeat the white frost, I felt like that too.”  
I look at her in surprise, “Yes, but you have the elder blood. You’re more powerful in your pinkie toe alone than I am with anything.”  
She shakes her head, “Even with that, I had the possibility of death. When Geralt came right before I went through the portal… I almost didn’t do it. I was so… scared. Of leaving him, of leaving Yennefer, of leaving everyone here if I died. But, I thought about it for a long time. The possibility of death made me want to do it and live even more.”  
I marinate in this, “It’s your spirit. But, I don’t have the same unbreakable one you have, Ciri.”  
“Are you kidding?” She laughs, not in a mean way but in a flabbergasted one, “You came here and adopted a forktail immediately! You fought a wolf after three minutes of waking up! Not only that, but you asked to be trained at Kaer Morhen, and used that training to kill a wyvern on your own. Geralt didn’t even slay his first monster until his fifth year of training at Kaer Morhen. You did it in three months,” She says my name with utter incredulity, “If that isn’t a hell of a spirit, then I don’t know what is!”  
“She’s right,” Triss says, “You are pretty great so far.”  
“Agreed,” Yennefer says shortly, “And it doesn’t hurt to have another woman here with all the testosterone floating in the air.”  
I snort at that, looking up at Yen to find her staring down at me, but not with malice. I give her a small smile, and I think I see one blooming on her face as well.  
“Thanks for cheering me up,” I sigh, “But I think I’ll stay out here a little longer.”  
“Alright. We’ll be inside.”  
“How are the boys?” I ask.  
“Lambert stormed off, took his horse and went to go ride. Geralt did the same, albeit with less of the theatrics. Eskel went to his room and Vesemir went to go brew some potions,” Yennefer informs me.  
“Great,” I sigh, laying back down.   
“Just give them time,” Triss says, “They’ll have to learn to live with whatever you pick.”  
“I know,” I say.  
All three women get up and leave then, patting me on the back or sending me a nod of leave. I stay looking at the clouds a little longer, before I consider what to do.   
“I should check on Eskel,” I sigh. So, I get up, shaking out the grass blades from my back and stretching a little bit. As I travel to his room, I think I hear the occasional sniffle echoing in the hallways.  
“Eskel?” I knock on his door and call his name. A shifting behind the door makes me aware that he is indeed there, “Can I come in?”  
“Yes,” He calls, and I hear more shifting behind the door. I open it slowly, stepping into the room. It’s dark, only a single candle in the far corner of the room offering a shadow of light. Eskel has taken his armor off, wearing only a shirt similar to mine. It makes his arms stand out, and I find myself staring before I snap out of it. He’s sitting on the bed, his head in his hands. I walk over slowly, giving him time to move. He doesn’t.  
I kneel down in front of him, then talk softly, “How are you holding up?”  
“You just found out you could become a witcher and you're asking me if I’m alright?” Eskel laughs humorlessly. The dry laugh echoes around the room, and it sounds so unlike Eskel it makes me pause.  
“Look, I know this isn’t a normal thing-”  
“It isn’t!” He says, moving his hands so I see his face. He turns away, but before he does, I catch a glimpse of his puffy cheeks and red eyes.  
“Eskel, have you been… crying?” I’m blown away. This is the first time I have seen any of the witchers show extreme emotion. The surprise seeps into my tone before I can stop myself.  
“No,” He denies, his back straightening. I can feel the charged air between us like I always do whenever Eskel is around, and I lean forward, still on my knees, and grab his face.  
I turn it towards me, looking deep in his eyes as I say, “It’s ok to cry, Eskel. We all do.”  
He seems embarrassed, so I change tactics. I sit next to him, then ask him quietly, “Do you… want a hug?”  
He shakes his head, but his body leans towards me minutely at the idea. So, I use my hands and wrap them around his neck. I tuck myself into his side, resting my head on his shoulder. He stops, rigid and shocked for a few seconds, before his body melts. He takes a hold of me and pulls me over to him so I’m straddling him. Then, he buries his face in my neck, his arms wrapping around my waist hard. He tries to suppress his tears a little, but I stroke his hair, whispering to him softly that, “its ok to let it out right now”. He sobs into my shoulder quietly, so quietly I don’t hear it. The only indication that he’s crying is the wetness I feel and the occasional quaking of his shoulders.  
“Don’t do it,” He pleads, separating from me after a few minutes. A couple tears are still on his face, and I brush them away as I smile at him sadly.  
“I don’t know what I’ll do right now. We’ll talk about it later.”  
“Don’t do it,” He says, his voice sounding more desperate this time. I go to respond, but he pulls me to him before I can. Our lips meet as he holds my face. His kiss has a desperate note in it- almost like he’s afraid at any moment I could slip through his fingers. I kiss him back with the same desperation, the emotions from the past few hours pouring from me. The heat that passes between us makes me claw at his chest, wanting to hold onto him so tight he can never let me go. When our lips meet, I feel an unequivocal rightness- so right, it makes me wonder if the djinn isn’t doing more than we think. But, thoughts of the djinn are quickly pushed from my mind as soon as Eskel’s hands start to travel up my shirt, pushing it up. I stop him when he tries to take it over my breasts.  
“No,” I pant, as our lips separate, “Not now. Not like this.”  
Eskel nods, but goes back to kissing me. Instead, his hands wander my stomach and back, tracing circles into my hips and spine. The slightly calloused fingers he possesses send shivers along my skin as they stroke softly all over me. We continue to kiss, our tongues meeting as passionately as our lips did, then dancing around each other. Once we get to the french kissing, I use my hands to rub along his chest, then his back. His back is so muscular it makes my thighs shake. The more we touch and hold each other, the hotter I get, until I am almost grinding down on him.  
“Never mind,” I separate from Eskel and take off my shirt, then unclip my bra,” I want you now.”  
He groans and goes back to kissing me, rubbing my hips before his hands start to travel upwards. They tenderly take hold of my tits, first just rubbing over the soft skin of them. Then, his fingers close around my nipples. He brushes over them, then his right hand pinches my left nipple. I let out a tiny squeak as he pulls enough for me to have a pang of pain. He chuckles at the noise, a deep throaty one that makes me grow wetter.  
“Did I hurt you?” His voice is mocking, but in the best way as he moves the kisses to my neck. I let out a small giggle at how he pouts at me- it makes his whole face look ten years younger. When he kisses all the way down my neck, he reaches the hills of my breasts and looks up at me from them, growling out, “I’ll make it better.”  
He attaches himself to my left nipple first, and just the heat of his mouth on it makes me let out a sigh of happiness. Then, his tongue flicks over it and I feel wetness gush from my center again. I run my hands through his hair as he licks, then his mouth sucks lightly before transferring sides. It doesn’t feel overly good, and certainly not enough for an orgasm, but the moment is packed with heat anyways. It’s intimate, makes me feel comfortable. I can feel myself grow wetter the longer he does it.  
“Eskel,” I sigh as he detaches from my breasts completely. I bring his face back up to mine, my hands wandering down to the front of his pants. My right hand grabs his length through the fabric- his impressive length- and he says my name into my lips.  
“Say it again,” I demand, but I’m so breathless it comes out as more of a plea. Hearing my name come from him, whispered with this moment behind it, makes my skin flush and a hazy contentment settle deep in me. He says it again, this time looking me in the eyes as he separates our lips. For a moment, we just breathe in each other's air. I look into his eyes as he looks into mine. We stay like this, until I move forward a centimeter. I still look at him. Then he moves forward. We keep this slow process going, dragging out the leadup until our lips meet again. My hand slides up and down his shaft several times, gripping him tightly so I can cherish the way he feels.  
My other hand drags his shirt up so he gets the message. He does, and slips it off, leaving his chest exposed to me. I go to his neck, kissing and biting my way down. I then kiss down to his nipples, where I do the same thing he did to me on them. My kisses go all over his pecs, then down to his stomach, until I look up at him bashfully as my lips approach his pant line.  
“We don’t… have to if you don’t want to,” Eskel says, but I shake my head.   
“Lay back. I want to taste you,” I whisper in his ear, letting out a smile as he almost scrambles to do it.   
“I may not be the best…” I warn him, helping him slip off his pants. I’m not a blushing virgin by any means, it’s just been a while since I’ve done something like this, as I’m not one for one night stands.  
“I don’t care,” He says, and I believe him. I move a little further down the bed so I’m also laying down, but on my side with my head by his pelvis. My left hand strokes him again, starting slow but picking up. As I do that, I kiss his upper legs and hips. Then, I shift so I’m in between his legs. My tongue licks his balls, then my lips place teasing kisses on them. When I feel his member harden more until it is completely stiff, I place kisses along his shaft. When I get to his head, I lick it, swirling my tongue around and then gliding it over the tip. I finally take the tip into my mouth, sucking on it lightly. Eskel’s hand comes to hold my hair, and I moan at the feeling of his hand on my head, guiding me as I suck on his cock. I suck on it harder as I go down further, but I don’t go that far. I try to focus more on making sure I’m constantly sucking him. At one point, Eskel’s hand goes slack on my head, but I want him to take control here a little more. So, I put my hand on his, pressing down on it to give him a hint that it’s ok for him to control my mouth a little.   
He takes it. Oh, boy, does he take the hint. In seconds, he’s creating a steady rhythm of pistoning in and out of my mouth, going slightly lower each time. I have a pretty bad gag reflex, but Eskel manages to toe the line and never give me too much. The whole time I suck his cock, he’s moaning and groaning, sometimes saying things like, “Your mouth feels so good”, or “Love seeing you suck me”. It makes heat stir in my lower abdomen.  
Eventually, Eskel throws his head back, letting out a long groan, before dragging my head off of him. I lick my lips, intending to ask him why he stopped me. But, I never get the chance. He’s on me like a shot, pulling me so our lips meet again as his hands try to rip off my pants. I help him take them off while our lips are still connected, finding his eagerness amusing.  
I soon find out why he is. He lays me down on the bed, then positions his body between my legs. I instantly know what’s coming. I keep my legs closed at first, a blush crawling up my neck and staining my cheeks.  
“Eskel…” I say, a little nervous.  
“Let me make you feel good,” He says as a way of explanation.  
“I don’t know…” I say, unsure. The idea of Eskel being between my legs, able to look up at me and see all the imperfections of my body makes me shiver and shake my head.  
“I really want to do this for you,” He breathes, peppering kisses on the outsides of my knees as I keep my legs firmly together. His hands are at my ankles, but they aren’t pushing my legs apart- they’re just holding them, reminding me of the power Eskel has. And that fact makes my stomach warm- the fact that Eskel has the power to push me right now, to take what he wants- but he’s being cautious, he’s letting me dictate the pace. That thought rushes to me and makes me finally ease my legs open, looking to the right at the wall since I’m not sure if I could handle seeing Eskel’s face between my legs right now. Eskel starts kissing me from my ankle to my thigh. Sometimes, instead of kissing, his lips just trace over my skin. It’s so delicate, so delightfully new to me, and it makes me shiver with want. At one point, when Eskel’s kissing up my left leg, he looks up at me, catching my eye as I’m busy admiring him. His eyes are hot and intense, fire warming my center and causing it to throb with need. My breath hitches as he keeps looking at me. His mouth gets closer and closer to my underwear, and my hands come to grasp at his hair.   
“Eskel,” I sigh as his hands massage my thighs. His lips turn upwards as he takes off my underwear.   
“Say it again,” He teases, a smirk gracing his face, before his lips are on me. His tongue gives broad licks over the entirety of my center first. His fingers snake to my lips and pull them apart to expose my clit and opening fully. He keeps licking sweeping strokes over both areas, then goes both directions. The feeling of a tongue on me is something I had never experienced before- my world of sex was bad one-night stands until I eventually gave up on finding good sex partners. But Eskel was so good at this, it makes everything disappear from my mind until all I can think about is amber eyes and brown hair.   
“Oh god, Eskel,” I breathe as his tongue dips into my hole. It’s only for a second, a mere tease, but it made my walls clench. He then closes his lips around my clit, looking up at me again. He applies a light suction to my sensitive nub, then his tongue darts out as a quick sideswipe. It makes me let out a small moan. When I let that out, Eskel’s eyes darken. I had always read about the idea of someone’s eyes darkening and snorted at the silliness of it, but in this moment, I got what the writers were going for- the sweeping of a hazy lust movin through his pupils and infecting his irises, making them blow up wide.   
Eskel looks absolutely predatorial now as his eyes roam my face and body. The darkening reminds me of storm clouds, but instead of blocking out the blue sky, it is making the amber color turn to more of a smouldering fire. His mouth falls in line with that, almost sending sparks through my clit to my head. It’s electrifying, the way Eskel is drinking in my body right now. His tongue does circles, then moves to lick up and down, then sideswipes. It never stays long enough for me to get comfortable with the sensations, so I’m constantly letting out small moans or breathes that are very audible. He drinks those up too, occasionally letting out a moan in response, which vibrates through me and makes my toes curl. One of his hands lets go of my lips, moving down to my hole where a finger eases in. I barely feel the finger, but when Eskel crooks it up, it makes me let out a gasp.  
I’ve never had an overwhelmingly sensitive g-spot, but when Eskel puts his finger like that, I feel an undeniable fullness. He has another finger in there before I know it. The slight callouses on the pads of his fingers caress my upper wall as he moves them in and out slowly. Then, he curves them upward when he removes them from me. The scratch of his fingers on me makes a new feeling settle throughout my lower region- a neediness. It’s a need that is unlike any other I’ve ever felt, that is urging me to pull Eskel’s face closer to my center, a need that makes my moans go louder as Eskel’s fingers speed up. They pump in and out of me with a new vigor, nailing my g-spot with every thrust.   
“Come on,” Eskel separates his mouth from me for a moment to speak, “Come for me.”  
I arch off the bed and a gasp leaves my throat. My hands almost claw at Eskel’s head as a third finger enters me and his mouth sucks my clit dry.   
“Oh, Eskel, I’m cumming,” I manage to groan out. A second later, an orgasm washes through me. It makes me let out a sharp cry before it crashes over my body. My walls spasm around Eskel’s fingers, and his mouth eases off of the sucking to only a few kitten licks. As I pant, Eskel raises himself back up and takes his fingers into his mouth, sucking on them.  
“You taste delicious,” He mumbles.  
“Really? Let me see,” I bring our mouths together, noticing the unique taste of myself on Eskel. It makes me grin, lapping at his mouth to get it all.  
“Wow, I do,” I say, making Eskel snort. I join him, giggling a little. Eskel kisses me again, his hands moving to make it so he is on top of me and I’m back in the same position as before.  
“Are you ok to…? If you don’t want to with me, that’s fine-” Eskel starts, but I don’t let him finish.  
“Are you kidding, Eskel?” I ask, but when he looks down at me again, I see nothing but sincerity in his eyes with a dash of insecurity, “I wouldn’t have let it get this far if I wasn’t sure.”  
Eskel calms down then, his shoulders un-hunching and his eyebrows unfurrowing.  
“Eskel,” I put my hand on his cheek, “I promise. I’m doing this because I want to. Because I want you. Do you understand that?”  
He nods, finally looking more at peace. I smile at him, then kiss him. We kiss until Eskel’s head rubs against my opening on a particularly passionate one. I put my hand down softly on his shaft, guiding it to my opening. We look into each other's eyes as I guide him in. He thrusts, and we let out a collective sigh when he bottoms out. He pauses for a second, giving me time to adjust. I give him a nod, and Eskel’s hips start to move. At first, it is so slow and shallow, I don’t really feel any pleasure from it. Then, he pistons his hips out further each time, making it to where soon, his whole length is rubbing in and out from me. His hands are on each side of my head, but he lowers himself to his elbows as our lips meet again. I pant into his mouth in between kisses as his cock drives deep into me, my hands roaming on his back.   
“Eskel,” I groan as he speeds up a little. His kisses move to my throat, where he finds the sweet spot on the junction of my neck and shoulder. He licks and sucks there, then nibbles on it as I let out a small squeal. It makes Eskel chuckle, a short one that bursts from his lips as my hands lightly scratch his back. My lips then go to his neck, not sucking in the same territorial way, but instead just making sure my lips touch every bit of skin there. I want Eskel’s entire body mapped out in my mind, and I know one time isn’t going to totally do it, but I soak up the expanses of his skin with the same eagerness as if this is a rare occurrence.   
I can’t tell you when exactly he speeds up, as by this point, all I can feel is the little drag of his head on my g-spot whenever he enters, but his rhythm does increase until he is pistoning in and out of me. One of my hands goes to my clit and rubs it side to side, quick and not focusing on one part. My walls clench around Eskel, which he feels as his cock throbs.   
My other hand grips the sheet as I throw my head back. I soak in the pleasure Eskel is giving me right now and the pleasure I’m giving him.   
“So good,” I moan out at one point, opening my eyes again to find Eskel’s already locked on my face. The amber calls for me to let go, and I feel myself cum at last, drowning in pleasure in the amber sea of his eyes.   
He groans out one final call of my name before I feel him release inside of me. The spurts make my walls clench, which I know he feels as he comes down from his high.   
“Stay in me,” I pant, connecting our lips once more. For some reason, I love the feeling of Eskel inside of me- and I want to stay like that for a while longer. He obliges, laying down next to me so we’re both on our sides staring at each other. We’re incredibly close together, our chests touching as I look up at Eskel.  
“Where’d that come from, hm?” I ask softly, my hands wrapping around his neck.  
“I… I can’t lose you,” He says softly.  
“You won’t,” I say simply.  
“The odds are 3 out of 10,” He says my name, deadpan.  
“I know. But I haven’t decided on actually doing it or not,” I gently explain, one of my hands moving to rest on his chest, right over his heart.  
“Unless there’s a way to guarantee you’ll get out of it, then… but even then, it’s painful, and…” He shakes his head.  
“So then this isn’t about survival. Even if I would definitely survive, you don’t want me to. So, what is it, Eskel?” I pry, but I’m still gentle as we stare at each other. He shakes his head again, looking away from me.  
“You know, conversations usually involve two parties,” I try to joke, but we both know I’m half-serious. He still avoids my eye, so I say, “Eskel, you’re going to have to show emotion sometimes. You're gonna have to tell me what’s going on inside that beautiful head from time to time. It doesn’t change you, and it doesn’t make me think less of you.”  
“Witchers don’t have emotions,” He says, as though that’ll explain everything.  
“You and I both know that isn’t true,” I shift a little, bringing the covers up to about our waist, “You’re going to have to tell me eventually. But, if you don’t want to tell me right now, that’s fine.”  
Eskel stays quiet as I keep my hands on him, tucking my head into his chest. My ear is where my hand was, right where I can hear his slow heartbeat. The pounding is oddly soothing, and I find myself starting to drift as Eskel’s hands slot around my waist.   
For once, since I’ve been transported here, a time numbering almost four months now, I feel almost like I’m back home. That settled feeling where I know where I belong settles in my stomach, and I can’t bring myself to panic about it right now when I’m in Eskel’s arms. With that thought, I let out a small sound similar to a purr.  
“Did you just purr?” Eskel says, sounding light hearted again.  
“Maybe,” I say, nuzzling my cheek into his skin.  
Eskel shakes his head, but his arms tighten around me. I want to press a kiss to his sternum, but I don’t, instead settling down for a small nap.  
“I don’t want you to be a witcher, because then you’ll have to put up with the shit we do,” Eskel says softly. It’s been about a minute of silence, but I feel myself wake up as I process what he said, “The condescending attitudes and spitting, the looks and being turned away from inns… It’s not something you should have to go through.”  
“Eskel,” I say softly, “Thank you for telling me that. I understand what you mean. But, give me a little credit, babe,” The pet name slips from my mouth without me thinking about it, “If I’ve survived training with you and Lambert, I can survive anything.”  
“I know you’re strong,” He concedes, looking at me, “But you shouldn’t have to accept the treatment people will think they can give you.”  
“But if I decide to be one, I’ll get used to it.”  
Eskel doesn’t seem to like that. He pulls away slightly, his arms going slack around me.  
“I haven’t even decided yet,” I remind him, scooting closer to him, “So shut up and hold me.”  
I drift off again a little, but I wake up to Eskel nudging me and saying my name, “It’s dinner.”  
I stretch, “Really? Already?”   
“You slept a little bit, but since you’re still healing, I left you alone.”  
“What’d you do?”  
Eskel shrugs as his cheeks redden slightly, “Nothing.”  
“Watching me, were you?” I grin, getting up and throwing back on my pants and shirt, “You wanna help me down to dinner, or do you trust me to go on my own?”  
“You can go ahead,” He says, getting up. I avert my eyes as I blush a bit, and Eskel catches on.  
“Didn’t mind me naked an hour ago.”  
“Eskel!” I almost shriek, laughing as I turn away from him completely. Because of that, I miss his smile, a big one that would have stunned me. It would have been the first one I had seen from him.  
I leave, and I make it to the dinner table. When I get there, no one is there besides Vesemir, who is setting the table.  
“Let me help, Vesemir,” I say, already grabbing plates and setting them down next to the silverware.  
“No, you don’t need to-”  
“Yes I do. I’m injured, not incapacitated,” I remind him, smiling. He reluctantly lets me set everything down with a small shake of his head, and as I finish up, the women come to the table. Lambert follows, but then all of us are left without Geralt and Eskel.  
“Where are-?” I start to ask, but right then Eskel bursts through, followed closely by Geralt.  
“We’ll talk about this later,” Geralt growls at Eskel harshly as he sits in his usual spot. I trade surprised glances with the women, all of us trying to ask each other what happened without words, but all of us are left clueless. When Eskel sits down, he sits farther away from me than he normally does. I shoot him a questioning glance, but he doesn’t even look at me.  
“Hey,” I say softly to Eskel, putting my hand on his shoulder, “Are you alright?”  
Eskel nods, “Yeah, I’m fine.”  
Eskel doesn’t look up from his plate, so I shoot a look at Geralt. He’s staring at Eskel, but when I look at him, his gaze shifts to me. He seems enraged, but when he sees me, his eyes soften slightly. However, they still look mad, and it makes me shrink in my seat.   
After a tense half hour of mostly silence, I exchange a look at Triss and decide something needs to be done for the sake of atmosphere.  
“Yennefer? How have the translations on the sword gone?” I ask her.  
“Well, this might not be the greatest news, but it is the rest of what we translated. You seem to have some magical abilities, but we aren’t sure of the range yet. You also…” For once, Yennefer seems unsure, and she glances at Triss.  
Triss looks at her, then takes over and says gently to me, “Whatever happened to bring you here made sure you would be very strong. The medallion has powers in it that fuel your magic. Based on the power Yennefer and I picked up on, it’s very strong magic. And, you…”  
Even Triss looks down then, and I find the anxiety crawl up in me. My throat starts to feel scratchy, and I look between the pair of sorceresses.  
“What? Tell me,” I mean to demand it, but due to my fear it comes out as more of a plea.  
“You are guaranteed to survive the Trial of the Grasses,” Yennefer says as Triss sputters a little.  
I blink. 

I blink again. 

“You mean… whatever brought me here wants me to be a witcher?” I say, feeling a little light-headed. I grab onto Eskel’s shoulder, and he puts a hand around my waist to steady me, once again in a flash. The heat of his gaze burns into the side of my face, and I think back to our pillow talk earlier.  
“I wouldn’t say wants you to be- but… they did make it possible, and easy, for you to.” Triss also puts her hands up, near my arm in case I fall towards her.  
“Holy hell,” I breathe.   
“Hey, you alright?” Triss asks.  
“Yeah, just… well, no. Eskel, could you help me to my room? I think I need to lay down,” I say, feeling like the walls are going to close in on me. He helps me up, and I walk slowly, asking Geralt if he can bring my plate so I can eat in my room. Both of them oblige, bringing me slowly to my room as I realize this is a good time to get to the bottom of their argument.  
“Alright, before you two leave,” I say sternly as Eskel helps me sit on my bed, “I don’t know what’s going on between you two, but you two need to work it out. You two are the closest to family both of you have. Whatever happened, fix it, alright?”  
Geralt frowns, and Eskel just stares at me in disbelief.  
“I mean it. You two are brothers, whether you think so or not. I want both of you to promise that it’ll happen.”  
Both of them remain silent, so I growl and say, “Fine. I don’t need either of you two’s help anymore. You can go.”  
Geralt looks at me as I say it, but I remain stoic and focus on eating as I lean up on the headboard and wall.  
They both look at each other in surprise, then look at me. I don’t look at them. I just keep eating, picking up a book I was reading about ancient out of practice spells.

The next morning, I wake up with the intention of going with Callie to the river for a little, then doing some light exercise with my sword in the training yard. Those plans are derailed quickly, once I see that a note has landed on my chest. It’s a folded sheet of paper-  
“They don’t have paper here,” I murmur, inspecting it. It’s just copy paper, but for some reason it makes my heart pound. I hesitate to open up the neatly folded sliver, instead just holding it.  
Finally, I take a deep breathe and peel back the flap as though it holds the secret to life.

They were fighting over you.

~J


	4. Chapter 4: The Great Escape

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy this chapter! I have decided on making Geralt and Eskel romantically involved in a sort of polyamorous relationship between the reader and them. So, that opens up a lot of smutty doors in the future... ;)
> 
> However, this chapter doesn't have any smut! I'm taking the smut route a little slow, but if you want me to speed it up, let me know! I can certainly sprinkle in some scenes while editing if that is what you would prefer. Just drop a comment, and happy reading!
> 
> Stay safe and get your vaccine!
> 
> ~Izzy

They were fighting over you.

~J

I bolt up in my bed, making my ribs cry out. I throw myself out of bed, barely slowing for anything. Luckily, I had an extra bra in my room, courtesy of Ciri, who had gotten me two more out of sympathy for only having one, so I put it on, almost missing the fastens every time. My hands are shaking so much, I feel my body give a jolt as though to shock me out of it. It doesn’t work, and I run to the library, grabbing my sword and going to the training yard. Callie is sleeping in the corner, so I wake her up gently, then take her to go outside.   
“Going to take Callie out, mini?” Lambert asks from behind me. He’s leaning against the gateway, and it makes me jump and let out a cry of surprise. I drop my sword, but still clutch the note harshly. Lambert looks at me, but in a second his face is serious instead of the joking smirk it had on.  
“What happened?”  
“N-nothing, I need to go,” I say, starting to walk away with Callie.   
“What do you mean?” He surges towards me, but I step back. I can feel the fear fill my eyes, and Lambert looks at me, trying to mask his hurt.  
He says my name, the first time since I got here, “What the hell happened?”  
I rub my face, knowing it must be pale, “It’s not you, Lambert. I just-... need some time to myself.”  
He seems to relax a little at that, “You have your sword, right?”  
I nod, “I- I really need to get out of here. I’m not leaving, I just… need some space,” I feel like I’m pleading with Lambert as tears fill my eyes, “I’ll come back, I promise.”  
“Alright,” Lambert holds his hands up, backing away, “But you’re worrying me. Did something happen?”   
My face grows clammy as I think of the paper I hold in my hands.  
“I’ll take that as a yes.”  
“No, Lambert, nothing happened, I just… need time for… something personal,” I say, praying he doesn’t ask too many more details as I pick up my sword.  
“Alright. Come back, you hear me? We will track you down if you don’t, and you know we can.”  
I nod as Callie nudges my back, “I’ll be back.”  
I turn around, breaking out into a jog as I get away from Lambert.   
What I miss is him going to Vesemir.

Callie and I walk a while, and I talk to her.  
“This note really freaked me out, Callie. Whoever it is has free access to my world and this one. And they’re watching me,” A tear leaks out as I think of what this could mean.  
“I wish I knew what was happening,” I start to cry, burying my head in Callie’s side, “This is too much.”  
Callie lets out a shriek, and then she moves so my face is in her neck. I feel her wings settle on my back, and I realize Callie is shielding me. In the process, she’s… hugging me.  
“Oh, Callie,” I cry, feeling sobs start to wrack my body, “What am I going to do?”  
She lets out another squawk as I keep crying.  
Once my tears run dry, I decide to go to the river Callie and I frequent. But when I stick my hand in to see if I can get in, I find it’s too cold. So, instead I watch carefully as Callie plays in it, then when she’s had her fun, we go to the clearing by the river. The cold of the day has settled in my bones by then, but I find that’s not on my mind as I sit by a huge oak. I have my sword in my hand, and my fingers trace the hilt. I am so careful now, my fingertips just brushing it, like the Elder Speech could attack me. But, as I look at it, I find myself hearing a call to somewhere. It’s hard to describe, but it’s like I feel a yearning to be somewhere- to go somewhere.  
“You feel that, girl?” I murmur to Callie. She caws and shakes her head.  
“Well, guess we gotta investigate,” I say, standing up. The cold still settles in me, but I am too preoccupied by the call I hear to think about it. I shiver, my teeth chattering slightly. However, I don’t think about the lack of heat. My mind is completely focused on the pull.  
We walk for hours, I think. Time wasn’t really something I could gage, but I did notice the sky had gotten darker. I think it’s the afternoon by now.  
The pull grows stronger as Callie and I climb a mountain. Then, I look to my left and I realize the rocks have cracks in them. My mind instantly goes to the Witcher 3, where it’s a game mechanic and you must use Aard to knock the rocks down.  
“You think I should try it, girl?” I ask Callie. She shrieks, but it’s hesitant.  
“Well, here goes nothing,” I say, already thinking about how I’ll fail. I try to concentrate, think about Aard and the power, but I find the pull rules my mind. All I can think about is getting behind that rock wall, but not how to. So, I try to use that yearning to fuel me and call forth the magic Triss and Yennefer said I have. It’s probably about a minute of me thinking before I take a deep breathe, thrust out my hand, and-  
Nothing. The rocks stay in place, a wall that’s teasing me with how it can’t be moved.  
I huff, feeling anger settle in. I could do it before, but now I can’t?  
I try to concentrate again. I think about the medallion I woke up with, and how it felt when it would vibrate my fingers. As I think about it, I can feel the vibrations, the tingling, on my fingers again. So, I try to move it to my hands. I imagine a wave of that tingling sensation flowing up my hands and moving over my arms, and as I do, I feel myself grow warmer. I take another deep breath, thrust out my hand, and-  
The rocks go flying, causing loud crashes as the rocks settle in the cave.  
“Callie! I did it!” I almost screech, turning to her and smiling for the first time today.  
She flaps her wings, giving me a toothy grin.  
“Alright girl, come on. We gotta shelter here, it’s getting too cold for me out here.”  
The pull grows as we go deeper into the cave. At first, it just looks like a typical one- until we go deeper, and I see there’s a little platform built out of wood. On it sits several tables, some with stained blood on them, others that are just rusted and old.   
“What the hell?” I stare at the tables as I feel a pull towards them again. Then, once I get closer, I see another slip of paper laying perfectly on one of them. My hands feel clammy all over again as I feel my pocket for the first note. This one, I take a shorter time picking up as I grow angry at whatever’s taunting me.

I’m a friend. I brought you here for this. It’s your destiny.  
~Jacobus

“My destiny?” I ask, feeling the pull dissipate as I hold the note in my hands. The longer I hold it, the more at peace I feel. It takes me a while before I realize the information it’s presenting me with.  
Whatever this is definitely wants me to be a witcher. They brought me here, they gave me a sword, they blessed me with powers, the medallion, and…  
It’s name is Jacobus.  
“Jacobus,” I say, feeling the name echo through me. A hum comes from my chest, startling me. Then, I look around the cave again. Bookshelves are in the corner, and to the right, there’s a bunch of vials and potions on a desk. Then, a chest next to that.  
I open it to find a fur. I eagerly put it on, sighing at the warmth. Then, I look at the bookshelf. There’s one book on top, and I go to it, tentatively flipping through the pages. As I look, it becomes more and more apparent it’s a diary. I go to the start of the book, delicately touching the red front and hoping the information in here is good.

November 11,1056

Today was the last trial for the season. There were four that made it out. We were certain there would only be three, but somehow, the fourth pulled through. He lost much blood, and there wasn’t a heartbeat for a minute, but he awoke. Once all of them recover, it’s back to Kaer Morhen.  
Sometimes I wonder about those boys who don’t make it. We dispose of their bodies the same way, burning them before putting them in the field outside, but I wonder if their ghosts feel betrayed by that. I would.   
I wish I had never made it through. This life, of being a witcher, is nothing I want anyone to bear. It’s painful, lonely, a suicide of sorts. We’re never again human, never again nonhuman, never again respected, never again looked at seriously. We’re looked at as tools. Rulers use us. Noble’s use us. Everyone wants us to do for them everything, but expect us to take dirt when we do.  
But, I remember one time, I saved a little girl from a grave hag’s clutches. When I had cut the head off of the hag, she came running to me. She wasn’t even up to my knees, but she hugged my leg like she never would let go. She could barely speak, but she said thank you. She said it over and over, all the way back to her village. It was more than her parents gave me. They gave me crowns and barely glanced at me.  
The girl, who I learned was named Zola, hugged me until her parents pried her off. Even then, she cried for me. And once her parents got sick of that, she ran inside of her house and came back with a doll. It was new, with a skirt patched carefully. She wouldn’t let me leave without it.  
I carry it around with me wherever I go. I have it in my saddlebag. It reminds me why we do what we do.  
We are humanity’s last hope of living in this world. Without us, the beasts will rule and people will live in fear. 

November 12, 1056

A fifth boy woke up. I couldn’t believe it. He was so confused. It was like… something woke him up.

November 13, 1056

I wish there was a way to make the fatality rate zero. That way, boys wouldn’t die and we wouldn’t have to take so many. I feel bad that we have to do this.

I look at the next page, but it’s blank. So, I flip the book again. Nothing. I flip once more. This time, there’s a few scribbles.

December 1, 1056

Benevolent wraith.   
Summoned. Watches over the trials.

Hannah. 

“Hannah,” I whisper, thinking over the new information I’ve learned. I decide to keep the journal, putting it on top of another fur that rests on the floor.  
“Alright, Callie,” I sigh, “We should settle down for tonight. I don’t want to leave right now.”  
Callie squawks, then nudges my stomach.  
“No, don’t worry about me, girl. I’m not hungry. But, if you want to go hunt, I’ll stay here.”  
She nods, then starts to leave. I call after her a soft warning of my usual, ‘be careful!’, which she shrieks back at, and then I am alone in the cave. I look at the journal, thinking of Hannah.  
“Hannah and Jacobus. Two people I need to find out about.”  
“How do you know my name?” A whisper behind me. I turn around to see a faint outline of a woman.  
“Oh my God!” I scream. I jump up, instantly heading for the door.  
“I do not harm, only help,” The woman says, her voice still faint and carrying on the wind. It sounds almost like she’s cooing, and it makes me think of a mother comforting her child.  
“Are you Hannah? The wraith that watches over the trials?” My body is tense, my hand itching to grab my sword on my back. However, if I do, I worry it’ll set her off. So instead, I just wait for her move.  
“I am,” She says. Her shadow doesn’t move.  
“If you’re a wraith, why do you look like that?” I ask.  
“I was gifted this form to not scare the boys,” She explains.  
“And who gave you this form?”   
She’s quiet for a few beats that seem to drag on, before she says, “I cannot tell.”  
“Ok… So are you why boys in the trials started waking more?”  
“Yes. I guided them back to their bodies… so they could live again.”  
“That’s very kind of you.”  
“So why do you come here? Why do I sense… goodness…. In you?”  
“I need shelter for the night. I promise I won’t mess with the things for the trials. I just needed some warmth and I need a place to sleep.” I motion to the fur I have still around my shoulders.  
“Where do you come from?”  
“I come from Kaer Morhen. I was with Vesemir, Geralt, Eskel, and Lambert.”  
“Oh, Lambert,” The woman cries, “The boy wasn’t supposed to wake, but I guided him. He was so scared, so… upset. Is he well?”  
“Yes, he is one of the many good witchers in this world,” I say softly.  
The woman lets out what sounds like a sob, “Praise the spirits, I have done it! My child is safe!”  
My child, she said. Why does she call the witchers her children?  
“Are you all the witcher's mother?” I ask, backing up to be by the cave door.  
“All of the boys, whether they survive or not,” She says, still sounding downtrodden, “I am here to guide the boys to the next stage, death or witchers.”  
“Well, I am sure the boys are grateful to have you. Is it alright with you if I lodge in here tonight with my forktail?”  
“It is allowed.”  
“You know… I was sent here… and I am considering undergoing the trial.”  
“Really?” If Hannah had eyes, I’m sure hers would light up. Her voice seems to change from carrying with a sad weight to a light song.  
“I’m not sure who sent me, but they made me able to survive the mutations.”  
“But you are a woman,” Hannah says. It’s a little unsettling, as she hasn’t moved since we started talking, but she doesn’t sound upset by the fact she states. Instead, she’s just… confused? Intrigued? I have trouble deciding what, but her tone is the same lilting happiness from when I mentioned becoming a witcher.  
“I know. Whoever brought me here helped me there, too. I don’t know the specifics.”  
“What a joy! I’ll have a daughter!” She seems to explode with happiness, and the room even seems to lighten, the candles’ flames flaring to be brighter and taller, almost as if to welcome me in the space.  
“Have you always wanted a daughter?” I ask, somehow liking her enthusiasm. It makes the space seem less haunted, less gloomy. Is it possible for a ghost to be a protector?  
“Always. It’s been my dream. But witchers are boys, so…” She heaves a quiet sigh, but it echoes with weight, “Boys are better than no kids.”  
It strikes me then where I’ve seen her appearance before- it reminds me of Annabelle on Fyke Island in the Witcher 3- that same black glitch with black pits for eyes are what seems to be Hannah. The black crawls across her skin in patches, making it so I can still see the cave wall behind her.   
I hear Callie screech outside, then, so I back out of the cave, going outside to see her eating a wolf. However, there are two wolves creeping up behind her that she is oblivious to.  
“Callie, move!” I yell firmly, sprinting down the hill to reach the two wolves as my fur drops somewhere on the path. Callie instantly goes to the air, doing laps around me and the two animals who now have their attention on me.  
I grab my sword from my back firmly, using it as both wolves lunge at me. I put the sword perpendicular to my body so they run into it with their jaws, then give a firm slice in an effort to cut their face. It catches the edge of their mouths, but doesn’t do much to deter them. So, when they lunge again, I doge to the right instead, leaving the right side of one wolf open. I plunge my sword through it, pulling it out quick so I can use it. The wolf lets out a howl and drops to the ground, pawing in my direction. The other wolf tries to take advantage of that and jumps over the dying wolf, snapping at me. I jump back, using a sort of half-done throw to land the sword through its mouth and into its throat. The wolf looks crazy with my hilt poking out of its mouth, so I grab it and yank it out at an angle to the left, making the wolf's right side of it explode as I cut a gash on its face and jaw.   
I huff a breathe as the wolves die.  
“Callie, more food!” I call to her, “It’s safe to come down!”   
She comes down a few feet away, and I cut the wolves open the same way I did before- slicing their bellies smoothly. I don’t look at the inside of them, but instead sprint over to the stream to wash off my sword. I then grab a river rock and carry it back with me to the cave. The fur is something I also pick up and I go back in the cave, finding Hannah is gone now. I sit down on the second fur and use the rock to slightly spruce up my sword, the water still on my sword aiding in the sharpening process. Vesemir has given me plenty of lectures in the past few months about caring for it, and it’s finally sunk in so I do it without hesitation.   
As I stroke the rock along the silver, I find myself humming a song from my world. It’s one of my favorites, and as I remember it, a tear falls down my cheek. The singer doesn’t exist anymore. I don’t exist anymore over there, and they don’t exist over here. Eventually, more tears fall, and I’m sitting there alone, my hums garbled and butchered. My sword sharpening falls to the back of my mind as I stare at my reflection in the blade.   
Callie comes in after devouring her dinner and settles next to me, tucking one wing around me and letting out a soft shriek that would be a question if she could talk.  
“I’m fine, Callie, just… homesick,” I say, lying back on the fur. There’s no pillow, but at least the furs I have now and Callie will keep me warm.   
“Maybe whoever brought me here did it by mistake,” I sniffle, “Or this is some sort of punishment. I don’t like it here anymore. I want to go home!”  
Sobs rack my body. They’re deep, bone chilling, and they seem to come from deep within my heart. I haven’t cried like this since before I got here, but the sorrow is all to familiar. It’s the kind of cry from someone grieving, which is something I’ve done enough to know the pit it creates, or the cry of someone dying. I wonder if I am in a specific category of the two, or if this is the conglomerate of it- mourning my old life, and dying in this one. When I sob, I turn on my side so I face the witchers table. It teases me cruelly by reminding me I still must choose what to do for that. Do I wish to become one? If I don’t, what can I do in this world? As I watch the table, I think about all the boys who died there, and I sob for them. If nothing else, I think of them. I sob for the witcher who wrote the notebook, who is probably long gone by now. I sob for all the death that’s rampant around me in this moment.  
I cry myself to sleep. I don’t dream. All I am haunted by is blackness that’s plagued by anguished screams. At the end, I see Geralt and Eskel. At first, I smile at them and go to hug them, but then they start arguing. Before I know it, they’re fighting, and I find I can do nothing but watch. The worst part is when Geralt and Eskel both pull out their blades and stab each other simultaneously in the stomach, dragging it so I see their intestines spill out. I scream, but they don’t seem to hear me. Instead, they stare at each other, hate hardening their eyes as they slowly drain of life. I run to them as they collapse on the ground, and I scream when I clutch their chests. Blood seeps into my hands, making my skin red, but I don’t care. Instead, I focus on the two men I love, looking at their faces as they contort in pain.  
“No, no, Baby, come on,” I plead, sitting between the two of them. One of my hands goes to Eskel’ head, the other to Geralt’s. I cradle their heads in my lap, laying forehead kisses on them alternatively. They both look up at me, and as I look down at them, I realize they are dying and there’s nothing I can do about it. Dread builds in my stomach, and I let out a scream as their eyes drift close.  
“No!” But, as I watch, life drains until all that’s left is their corpse. I throw my head back and let out a full heart-wrenching scream, one that comes from deep within me. It’s bone-chilling, and the scream even seems to make the corpses shake.

At the scream, I bolt up, suddenly awake from my nightmare. I close my mouth. When did I open it? Callie nudges me from behind, so I must have been screaming in my sleep.   
“Sorry for waking you, Callie. Go back to sleep. It’s just a dream,” I sigh, sweat all over my body. It looks like I just got doused in water- my skin has a sheen all over, and my temples have drips on them. It isn’t from the fur- I had kicked those off as I sleep, I realize as I look to my legs. I sigh, getting up and going outside of the cave.  
The stars are shining so bright, I sit and look at them a while. As I do, my thoughts wander.  
Do I love Eskel?  
Do I love Geralt? I had never thought of Geralt like that before the dream, but now that I’ve had it, my mind is always on both him and Eskel.   
“What the hell is wrong with me?” I scoff, “Geralt has two beautiful sorceresses fighting for him, and I’ve already slept with Eskel. That probably didn’t mean anything to him, anyways.”  
I stay silent for another few seconds before I say sadly, “Witchers could have any women they want. Neither of them will go for me.”  
That starts another round of tears, so I sit under the stars, crying again. 

The walk back to Kaer Morhen is the hardest one. My ribs cry out with every step and I feel guilty for leaving without saying much to anyone, only Lambert. However, that was only because he caught me, not because I planned to. At the same time, meeting Hannah and reading that witchers’ journal, which I have tucked into my waistband, helped me look at my decision I have to make with a different perspective. I’m still not one hundred percent sure on what I’ll do, but I now have more things to consider.  
Having more to consider should make me panic, I realize as I kick a rock on the path, the throb in my ribs not easing up. But it doesn’t now. It sort of makes me feel… more level-headed. But, that level-headedness goes away as soon as I consider the remaining, more pressing issue- my revelations about my developing heavy crushes on both Geralt and Eskel. On top of that, now that I’ve slept with Eskel, I’m not entirely sure where we stand. And there’s no possibility of avoiding them- we live and train together. Then, there’s the issue of Triss and Yennefer. Both of them are nice and strong and beautiful- Geralt has two capable sorceresses willing to do anything for him because they love him. How selfish would I be to put myself above them and be with Geralt?   
‘Very selfish, is the answer to that,’ I snort at myself as I look over at Callie.  
“You know what, girl? Crouch down for a second,” I say, stopping my walk as my ribs cry out in pain again, a sharp warning that I need a break soon. She looks at me for a second, before she does.   
It takes me a second of figuring out how to do it, but I use Callie’s wing joints to climb onto her back and straddle her. Her back is much larger than a horse, so my legs are stretched wider, almost to the point of burning, but I’ll get used to it.  
“Alright, now try and walk. Slow, though, girl,” I plant my hands on her back below her neck so I’m leaning forward. While Callie starts to walk about the pace I was going, I find I like this.  
“I like this, girl! I need to get some sort of stirrup, though, for me to ride you all the time,” I pat her head, looking at the trees as we trot.  
“Thanks for this, girl. I’m exhausted from last night. Couldn’t fall back asleep after my nightmare.”  
Callie screeches, so I shake my head, “I know, I know.”  
I shiver a little, wishing for a second I still had the furs from the cave with me. But, I’ll be back indoors soon, I hope, as we approach the signpost. I see Lambert at the door, leaning against the outside wall as his eyes scan the trees. Callie lets out a screech at Lambert whose head snaps to us.  
“She’s here!” Lambert calls, his eyes not leaving mine. I sigh as I get off of Callie. It takes a considerable bit of time and is probably less than graceful, I realize, but I’ll have time to perfect it later. All at once, everyone is now at the gate as it creaks open. I sigh, getting myself ready for a scolding. Surprisingly, the one who gets to me first is Ciri.  
“Thank the gods your back. They’ve been driving us crazy!” Ciri whispers at me, her eyes wide and annoyed. I give her a smile, a laugh escaping my lips.  
“And where were you?” Lambert asks as Ciri and I approach everyone.  
I shrug carefully, my eyes downcast, “Exploring.”  
“Let her rest, she looks like she’s exhausted,” Yennefer interjects. I shoot her a grateful smile as tears well up in my eyes. I blink them away, but one falls down my face. I catch it, trying to make it look like I had an itch on my face.  
“I am. Didn’t really get much sleep last night,” I reveal, my hands twisting and fiddling with each other.  
“Did you find a cave?” Vesemir is behind everyone else, but I see the creases on his forehead anyway.  
“Yes,” I say. Technically, I’m not lying, I just won’t tell them which one.  
“Good,” He nods, seemingly satisfied.  
Right when I think I’m home safe, Lambert speaks up again, “Where’d you go? You looked like you’d seen a wraith for the first time when you left.”  
Everyone looks at me as I feel a blush creep up on my cheek from the attention, my arms crossing over my chest protectively, “I… had a revelation of sorts.”  
“A revelation?”  
“It’s personal,” I say, shifting my weight between my feet as I wait for their reactions. Most of them seem to let it go, but Eskel and Geralt keep staring at me.  
I go to my room, hearing everyone come in behind me. When I break down the hall to get to my room, I hear two sets of footsteps following me. As soon as I reach my door, I sigh, already knowing who’s behind me. I motion the two witchers into my room reluctantly, firmly shutting the door behind us.  
“Alright, what?” I say, feeling my already frazzled fuse start to run out. I’m tired, emotional, and confused, so my head is already pounding from the combination.  
“Why’d you leave without telling any of us?” Eskel starts immediately.  
I sigh, closing my eyes, “I needed time, Eskel. Something happened, and I…”  
When I don’t continue, Eskel interrogates me further, “What happened?”  
“Not something you need to worry about.”  
“Like hell I don’t! It upset you so much you left. What happened?”  
I feel my blood pressure rising as Geralt and Eskel continue to look at me, and without thinking I blurt out, “Why did you two fight about me?”  
Silence overtakes the room. I keep my eyes trained on the bedspread, following the pattern through the blanket as the silence stretches on.  
“You left your… brassiere in my room. Geralt saw it,” Eskel says, but it only irritates me further.  
“So why did you two fight about it?”  
Geralt doesn’t seem like he’ll speak up, and Eskel seems at a loss for words as well.  
“I have to decide one of the biggest decisions I’ve ever faced, and you two are bickering about my undergarments?” The incredulity seeps into my tone like tea being put in hot water, and it is just as scalding as it travels across the witchers’ skins. Eskel winces, but Geralt still doesn’t really show an outward reaction. I feel tears drip down my cheeks again, and I sigh, sitting down on the bed and putting my head in my hands.  
“You two didn’t have a choice in this. I do. It’s so hard,” I whisper, but I know they can hear me as though I’m shouting, “And I’m alone in this new universe where nothing is the same as my home. I miss my family, my friends, my life. I own nothing and I don’t know how I got here. I don’t even know how to survive, and I…”   
The tears pick up speed as more leak out of my eyes, but the two men stay silent. Embarrassment creeps over me at the fact of crying in front of two strong men who probably think I’m being ridiculous, and I find it increasing the longer both of them stay silent and still. My cheeks heat up but I can’t bring myself to stop the tears- it seems they, once again, flow on their own accord.  
“Just go. I need to be alone for a while.”  
I’m half expecting Eskel to fight me on it, but for once, he doesn’t. I hear both of them leave the room, closing the door so softly I only catch the small creak that I know accompanies it. Once I dry most of my tears, I sigh and lay back on the bed, finding myself wanting someone to hold me.   
In times like this, where I’m feeling upset, I always long for someone to be beside me. I used to always imagine someone who is strong, but since I’ve landed here, my mind always strays to the two witchers I’ve just cast out.  
“Damn it,” I almost cry out in frustration, but it spills from my mouth as more of a plea. All the crying is making my head hurt, and I keep feeling emotionally confused to the point of exhaustion.   
I finally close my eyes and rest for a few, but the nightmare that plagued me is similar to the one I had before of Eskel and Geralt dying. As a result, my sleep isn’t very restful, and I wake up for dinner still feeling exhausted.  
When I trudge down to the table, I find that Lambert and Vesemir are already sitting down.  
“Hey,” I sigh, sitting down.  
“You look like shit, mini,” Lambert says, making me snort as I drop my head on my hands resting on the table.  
“Thanks,” I deadpan.  
“What happened?” Vesemir asks, putting down the last plate.  
“Nightmares. Really bad ones.”  
“What about?”   
“Everyone dying,” I say softly.  
Both the witchers are silent then as everyone else trickles in for dinner. I suspect Lambert doesn’t know what to say, and a few times I catch Vesemir staring at me, but I ignore it, asking Triss about the progress of the elder speech while I was gone.  
“Nothing else, really,” She says, “Random letters that are scattered all over the hilt.”  
“What are the letters?”  
“I can write them on some parchment for you. They might spell something,” She says, her face scanning mine, “You don’t look better. What happened?”  
“Nothing,” I wave her off, putting some potatoes in my mouth so I can’t talk to her.  
She doesn’t believe me, but Ciri asks her about the Lodge, so I have respite from Triss for a second.  
“She’s right,” Yennefer says to me, “You don’t. Did something happen?”  
“Just some bad nightmares,” I say, trying to sound casual, but Geralt and Eskel look up at me still.  
“Nightmares?” Eskel asks. I look at him, only able to meet his eye for a second as I’m reminded of earlier. I nod.  
“Of what?”  
“Death. Of people I care about,” I say, the dread building in my stomach as I think of the dream again.  
“Those are the worst kind of dreams,” Ciri speaks up, making me realize the whole table was listening to me, “I used to have them a lot. I have a recipe for some tea that really helped me. Would you like me to teach it to you?”  
“That would be great, Ciri,” I smile at her, a big one that yells my relief to everyone.  
“Perfect. It’s very simple, we should already have the herbs here. We’ll make it after dinner.”


End file.
